The scare stories of fluctuating interest on HELOCs are nothing short of criminal.

I highly doubt, however, that the appraiser and the bank are working together, as that could be criminal in some cases. 

How can you make peace with people that are Faking offense?

If you cannot reach the contact, do a little digging and call another number as needed) & ask length of time at current work, criminal background, and space for them to write a message to the landlord for their consideration.

You will be able to see applicants credit and criminal record.

Dealing with crafty tenants who know the game well This isn't a criminal court case, you don't have to 'prove' anything.

No personal offense intended, Matt!

Many investors have refi'd and not been caught, but it is a federal offense.

In other words, firms get experience because all the do are oddball cases or they do enough vanilla cases that, statistically, the oddball cases come up.And, no offense, but the kid of a lawyer doesn't have the working knowledge of a law firm's business practices. 

This can be overkill but how do you make sure the prospective tenant’s teenage children do not have criminal background?