When I look back real estate investing and rehabbing houses is akin to games I enjoyed playing as a child.

Save yourself the brain damage, clear it out, convert it back, discover a whole new class of tenant you can now get and enjoy the ride of eliminating 70% of the hassles this property delivers. 

I’d love to take advantage of a “traditional” mortgage (or even FHA?)

I don't want to step on any toes, but if you're not working with an agent, I'd be happy to help you, but even if you are,  I'd be happy to talk with you about the Redding area and answer any questions you might have, etc.

That had even a passing resemblance to tax returns or financial statements4.

You can still find single-family homes in the $80k–$100k range and duplexes in the $130k–$150k range, even in C and C+ neighborhoods that are seeing steady improvements.

The tenants enjoy using the interface, it is simple to communicate with them as a whole or individually, collect rent payments and see when they are in transit, offer CC payment options at tenants expense, track maintenance request, share documents, and lease the property.Short comings are their financial portion.

Probably not even close.  

I have no social sphere or contacts family or friends in Oregon (I don’t know anyone besides my fiancée).Goals: continue to have flexible schedule while enjoying what I do (selling real estate) and making good money.

u can see these homes on my website. also if there is any way to manage it.. if you can figure out how to get paid as a WA resident you will enjoy the same no income tax status you enjoy now..