Being both a lawyer (e.g., privileged communication) and Youngstowner (where omerta is still a thing), I sometimes learn things I cannot discuss.

I’m considering having a lawyer send them a certified letter, though I know that will still come with a significant fee, which is still preferable to full service.

They list seven tenant archetypes they'll never rent to, ("Entitled Tim," "Larry the Lawyer," "Dirty Dan," etc.) and I was curious about a situation in which one of these applications actually appeared to be the best on paper.

This person may actually be a licensed lawyer or a real estate professional.

Obviously, I'm not a lawyer and should consult with one before.

Check with a lawyer, but I would think rent is abated.

I recommend that you contact a lawyer to setup this process for you.  

I work with a lot of high earners and have a few friends of friends that are doctors and lawyers.

You should speak with your real estate agent and/or a real estate lawyer here.

Just withdraw it—it’s like a checking account.The Risks (Depends Who You Ask):A lawyer says everything can go wrong.An insurance agent says the same (so they can charge more).An engineer?