The 401k I used to have said if I default it didn't negatively affect my credit, but that it would become a taxable event like a withdrawal (come tax season) and I would have to pay penalties for the amount I had remaining. 

We do not have any minimums - although we do have seasonality here in Tampa, our units are active and get activity year round so it is not really necessary. 

Seasoning seems to be the problem..

This warrants its own bullet 3) horrendous underwriting

Its not bullet proof but close to it.  

You remind me of the guys who go hunting with the giant 10,000+ candle power halogen spotlights that when stopped say something like there not shining the deer, there just illuminating a path for the bullet.... 

Most agents aren't worth their pay, so it's going to be the cheapest one to get me the basics contractually as the investor but as a first time homebuyer or someone not seasoned you need their intel & savvy.

@ J Scott would you say that FTF flip is a good route to go for newbie investors or do they only work with seasoned investors?

Commercial brokers will know more becasue they have to... they get the contract and hand it off and the deals i have done there i get inspection addendum's written by the attorneys and boy that is very dysfunctional.. no explanations as they are getting flat fee's and spend zero time doing what needs to be done to keep transactions together the little things the public does not see. but anyway thought provoking.... 100.00 and hour is a pittance to a seasoned agent.. don't see that flying.. but to a mid level or starter who comes from a back ground of getting paid by the hour..

So you don't respond to the phone at all.Best practice: Send over the application and lease, the 3 day notice, bullet points on how it was served, the other unpaid rent for the second count, a check for the fee and ask when to be in court.