I never bothered to try talking to a lender because my credit score isn’t great and I’m self-employed.

How will you do so if you are W-2 employed?

Alternatively, once you have a full time job (or an employment contract), you should be able to qualify for a loan and utilize a Down Payment Assistance program.

Additionally, you may wish to speak with a CPA as to whether or not becoming an S Corp is the right decision – they can assist with reducing self-employment taxes.

Given that I am self employed, a few personal loan options, did preliminary asking about my situation, and they got lost in the weeds with how my real estate income looks so dismal on tax returns.

Make sure to call the employers.

But, they will be in challenging parts of town where realistically you do not want to own property and your long-run returns will under-perform.I'd encourage you to find a balance of sub-market growth, nearby employment, strong income, and only then a good rent-to-value ratio. 

Then, after Joey (the contractor), extorted more money from me, he, or his crew, stopped showing up except for a couple of hours every few weeks.

She might qualify to get a month's rent paid because of this employment disruption. 7.

Sounds like a good situation from the employment perspective.