Marriage ultimately doesn't really have that much to do with the qualifying other than establishing residency and what tax return the property is reported on. 

I walked into the first year of my marriage with student loans for college that I did not finish and a large business loan for a business that failed and no longer existed.

The W2 income is high through marriage; it is two W2s and a child deduction.  

LoL, nope, first sign of a bad marriage.

If he won't provide it he's not your marriage.

As far as I can tell every HOA document has something like this one form or another:The term "single family residential purposes" also shall be defined as: (1) one or more persons related by blood, marriage or adoption, which may include only parents and their dependent children, siblings, parents or grandparents; or (2) by no more than two unrelated persons living together as a single housekeeping unit and their dependent children, siblings, parents or grandparents.See Article III Section 3.1 here as an example: https://1drv.ms/b/s!

I would have to say that I am very very lucky because I have partnerships now that work amazingly well like marriages made in heaven.

In this area, that is over 100K in cash which could easily take 5-10 years to accumulate with other debts like student loans, car loans, rent, marriage, etc to pay for even if I do slim my spending down to just the necessities.

Try not to get tied down with marriage and a family along the way.

Don't wait for marriage.