I have a healthy rehab/unforeseen issues allowance budgeted, and have set my max bid, but am hung up on the post-auction/closing routine.

Books, podcasts and REIA meetings should all be part of your regular routines. 

I cocked an eyebrow at their explanation (5 days due to obsolete bank network technology, express uses new tech), but am taking them at their word. 

One of my clients routinely buys assets in the 25 to 40k  range and sells them north of 175k but they also gut them to the studs and put 80 to 100k into rehab. 

An asphalt shingle reroof is not rocket science but pretty routine, and some inspectors even note that roofs have to be repaired or replaced in some transactions (or is it flat built up, roof, etc). 

My idea is that the CPU could upload routine logging data to me maybe a couple of times a day, and send me a text message for alerts (water running for a long time, temperature falling near freezing). 

I have never had to file a claim, but I have found them to be extremely friendly and responsive during any routine inquiry. http://www.affinitygm.com/

But, should probably make it routine. 

As you've probably gathered from my day to day routine, I'm starting with wholesaling with the intent to transition into fix/flip properties.  

There was a time that it was a huge deal, and with scale it becomes routine.