New windows, insulate, drywall, paint interior and exterior, flooring, bath & kitchen.

That will do very little if its a wood framed structure. your better bet would be to insulate between the floor joists from below and replacing the drywall downstairs with a special acoustical drywall, but even then it will provide some assistance but be very expensive. 

Replace cabinets: Re-doing the bathroom/kitchen so this is a given.Other questions:Do I need to have someone come in and remove drywall to figure out if we need to tear out the walls due to smoke smell in the insulation?

Then you need to pay close attention to some other large ticket items that may be needed like rough framing - adding or moving walls, beams, posts, etc (as well as the rough framing costs to change the size of doors, windows, etc), insulation, and foundation.If you were ever told by some guru or rookie that you should or they estimate rehab costs by using a price per square foot, run for the hills, they have no idea what they are talking about as that is the worst way possible you can accurately estimate rehab costs!!!

Since this is not for lending purposes (yet), the same "insulating" rules don't apply.  

If you look at the listing in MLS description it is limited but it says:Roof: AsbestosIm assuming it either means the roofing materials have it, and/or insulation has it.  

But it has an awesome outbuilding with insulation, heat,  and a party room.

I like a good r-value and ensure they are capped and proper insulation done around them.

The plumbing and the electrical and the insulation  Then how old is the roof and the heating system?

The wiring was bare wire on insulators throughout the basement & it had asbestos.