Typically I see a lot that are charging interest rates in the low teens with maybe a point or two.

A significant portion of my teen years were spent in that mall and others like it. 

Like building healthier jobs for teens.

Our judges have too much power, and often times too much stupidity:Colorado Teens Fined for Giving Cookies to Neighbor"A Colorado judge ordered two teen-age girls to pay about $900 for the distress a neighbor said they caused by giving her home-made cookies adorned with paper hearts" Read moreThis may be the most rediculous court judgement ever!

There's hard money for as little as 3.5% up to the low teens and beyond.

Competitive commercial real estate shops typically aim for 5-6% cash on cash and upper teens in IRR.Also, I assume you don't want to be an active investor, but rather find an asset manager who will identify the property for you, take care of the acquisition, and subsequently deal with the property manager, correct?

There are some companies who offer initial rates in the teens but beware the shock of getting charged for almost every function the company performs.

Hello,We are trying to stretch staying in our two bedroom town home with our three growing young boys as long as possible to save for a down payment on a SFR once the oldest starts into his teen years. 

Yes, they make for quite neighbours ... provided its not a local teen party/shag location.

You're likely closer to high teens.