If you are looking to sign papers and walk out of here tonight with the clothes on your back and things you can fit in a suitcase, I will represent myself and make you an insulting offer that will make me some money but possibly get you out of whatever situation you are in.

We billed it as Yoga Master v.

The rental has all the appliances already installed (they worked fine upon inspection and move-in). 9 months into the lease the refrigerator went broke, massive problems with the sink and plumbing, then to top it all of the washer decided to cut out (naturally all my clothes were in it when this happened). 

I put my clothes on and walked out through to house and he was sitting at his dining room table on his computer.

I highly recommend flipping items that you are knowledgable about, whether it be clothes, shoes, computers, cars, etc. 

Buy clothes?

At least with them you don’t have to deal with the drama of mama breaking up with ‘baby daddy’, or “I had to buy school clothes so the rent will be late”. 

His clothes didn't fill up his closet.

Of the three basic necessities - food, clothing, and shelter - if you shoplift food, you get arrested. 

Who is going to move the furniture and clothes out of closets?