It was at this point that I realized I might have bitten off more than I could chew and would end up just hoping to break even after rehab. 

Puppy chewed up fence boards, doors, and cabinets.

Maybe one locks the dog in a room and it chews and claws the drywall and door frame.You are not there, so you do not know who lead the dog to do the damage, and you do not want to be in the middle.  

Big burly guys with neck tats that chew tobacco in their sleep. 

Just go back to the beginning and chew through them.

I use the term "scrounge up money" but it has no relation to what someone can afford, reptiles might actually be better pets as they don't chew or dig, or tear up carpet, they just sit in the box most of the time. 

There is pet urine and feces throughout our home to the extent that we are going to need to replace multiple baseboards and some sheetrock and all the carpet in our home.The garage door has been backed into and knocked off its track and broken.The landscaping in the yard is completely dead, driplines and sprinklers have been chewed off by animals, I have liens on my home from unpaid utilities, and Mario didn’t even know that his sub-tenant moved out of my home.

The dog is still rather young... what about chewing, barking and toilet training?

I spent all night chewing on the idea of being a broker and decided to follow your advice and to continue with a plan to get a degree as a nurse and invest on the side.

I only have 3 months experience as an investor and this might be too much for me to chew, but I am curious and creative enough to try and pull it off.