I normally buy and hold but this happens to be a flip I did, so this is fairly new to me.

Forecast every possibility that could go wrong....I'd consult with a very good attorney and an accountant who specializes in real estate investment as they normally have seen every scenario possible. 

Is my experience normal?

My wife and I do have a fairly modest lifestyle.

Is property management normally part of this arrangement?  

ROI is normally much better on resales. 

I have walked through and bought many hoarder houses but this fentanyl is a new game changer.. my hoarder houses have normally been bull dozed so I just send in the asbestos guy and he will be in full bunny suit.. 

Normally I'm not a fan of selling, but I would ask if this property cash flows.

That's just the fact of the matter, and I think you having humility and empathy will make you a good landlord because you are dealing with people's homes where they should feel safe and comfortable and you seem to understand that this is more than just a normal business. 

I'm normally based in the Seattle area, but I have a portfolio across the midwest (Memphis and Detroit).