But, you can go up to 65% loan to value with no reserves, or up to 80% loan to value if you have 12 months payments already in the bank (12 months reserves_.

There are tons of loans out there that use just the projected or actual income from a property vs the payment of the property (DSCR loans). 

Getting this cleaned up now would push my credit score over 800+ and eliminate nearly $3k per month in revolving debt payments and bring me quite a bit of peace.

Consider tenant stability, including consistent payments and maintenance of the TOH.

On the lease, he'll pay me $100/m over my HELOC payment and all other expenses, including the refi cost, inspections, title work, etc... 

Money for the down payments that comes in like an annuity either from your W2 efforts or from owning another business.

Quote from @Jaycee Greene: Assuming you pay asking price, I'd estimate the down payment for something like that using a hard money loan (HML) would be around 40% of the purchase price and your monthly payment would be $2,600 with an interest rate in the low 7% range (probably need a 700+ credit score to get that).

Some gurus tell practicioners of sub-to to hide transaction from the lender by saying the lender doesn't care as long as the payments are being made.

Some of the discounts are good, but just be aware that you will be paying a payment processing fee on top of the discounts. 

And when their methods don’t work and you turn to your favorite guru for advice, what do they tell you?"