I know I could put furniture on 0% interest credit cards, but I would need 2+ years to pay it off and I don't want to have to jump through hoops to cycle a balance onto new cards. 

Or you could pay cash now and refi later.

I bet they wait until January or February so they don’t have to pay the tax on those gains for another year (which is why we may be seeing less selling this month than in a normal cycle).

If you dont pay by next Thursday, I'm going to tell my atty to file it and take your property."

You will be paying 6-10% for just having them collect rent. 

In major cities I can get someone out for emergency service typically same day, even if I have to pay overtime for after hours work.

If you truly are limited on time or can't make investing a priority, you should look for smaller projects as others have recommended.1) General Contractors are available to run your project, but most are too expensive to make ROI work on smaller projects. 2) A great PMC can act as a Project Coordinator for rehabs, but many won't be transparent about the costs, so you know what you are paying for.

You might be surprised, but your rental properties have more in common with dividend-paying stocks than you think!

You pay 10% penalty plus taxes (lets say state and federal of 25%) - so you are paying $70k in taxes so your $200k is now $130k.

I like the fact that one and a half units pays all bills.