The idea of an assumable mortgage seems very attractive from a cash flow perspective, but unfeasible from a capital perspective.

My profession truly attracts some morons.  

You've identified some attractive factors in these markets, but your concerns about distance and time management with your dental practice are important to consider.

My reservations about timber: make sure you maintain your parcel well, because a pristine stand will attract more bids. 

Future tenants would likely appreciate the extra storage, and it could make your duplex more attractive in the long run without the hefty upfront investment that a full conversion would require.Another idea is to repurpose the shed into a functional office space or a private workout area.

Do that for a handful of deals, while you are actively out there telling the world about your successes and you will start attracting truly passive investors that want to invest with you.

I'm trying to perfect the language to attract both traditional and distressed sellers. 

In AZ, almost everything is utility scale, so 2.5 acres isn't going to attract much attention from power purchasers or solar developers.

The numbers and pro forma may look attractive, but are they achievable.What is the median income of the area?

What methods are you finding attractive now?