Do not go and invest out of state because people come into the forum and try to convince you to work with them on these goals (so ridiculous), you aren't ready for that and you have a good foundation somewhat locally.Your best bet, if you can't move, is to keep investing outside of New Jersey and stay close to your current property.

What other expenses are there (snow removal, lawn care, internet, utilities)?

For that I'd say Title Closing Agents, if someone called in my markets and spoke with my primary ones about who does these "jazy" things I bet they'd point me out, or would at least pass on your info.

I'll also bet come Jan, they ask you to extend it because they haven't been able to find a new place...the answer to that is no.

While the wealth of knowledge and experience on BiggerPockets is wide and deep, I would not trust a decision like this to the internet, I would ask you CPA and if you do not have one find one who specializes in this sort of thing.

Again, connecting with a local real estate agent in that area who knows the market inside and out is your best bet.

Doing a 203k on a multi can be challenging, depending on tenants so your best bet is to get one vacant, but then you are at a full loss while construction is going on.

There is a Citizen by Development program that helps you save taxes for new developments but the best bet is to buy an existing property and slightly renovate.If you have never dealt with Caribbean based labourers and you have no patience... then the Caribbean is not for you. 

I bet it appreciates 2 or 3k/month over time.

Search around on the internet or possibly if they’re friendly at the local town offices and create a list of group home providers.