Put the money into fixed income vehicles of various sorts and walk away and spend more time drinking wine and catching fish. 

But since J properties generally depreciate over time (not like properties back home which appreciate), the idea of sinking cash into a property that is worth less five years from now is not terribly appealing.Like you say, then the question is what sort of yield can you get, and will it cover the deprication losses?

If you do go with a non-connected lock please change the codes often, I often compare it to a hotel in that if the front desk told me the previous occupant's keys still worked during my stay I'd be sort of annoyed.FWIW, we use ResortLock from Lockstate (no affiliation, just what we use) on all our properties. 

There is no reason it should take 2 months to get that sorted.

There is sort of a East side/West side thing when it comes to investors that almost sounds like the rap battles of the 80's. 

You could always use those to prove they were smoking up; with that proof you can either move to evict or simply hold security and at least have some sort of proof.If you install a marijuana smoke detector I wouldn't even tell them what it is (aside from a smoke detector) as they might try and disable it.

Thankfully I think that "click bait" of sorts is quieting down a bit. 

But you might be able to work out some sort of agreement with a tenant to fill that role for a slight rent reduction.

I want to ensure that I follow any sort of regulations and safety standards but I don't know where to even start or know how to estimate rough costs.

The walls on the second floor show white chalking and also some sort of drip marks.