I understand this may prevent me from getting the absolute best terms on a HML, so I'll turn to professional before I settle on a lender, but I'd like to start the shopping process on my own.

So, I am not a "professional wholesaler". 

Readers should seek professional advice.

I went through it anyway bc she had a good footprint online, I liked the designs, and a couple of ppl at another STR group recommended her (not an excuse, I was super busy and thought I was dealing with a professional).

So much propaganda they only list peer-reviewed medical journals outlining the data and conclusions http://www.dogsbite.org/dog-bite-statistics-biblio...it's not a conspiracy that most insurance companies either do not allow those breeds on properties they insure or the exclude damage done by those "vicious breeds" it's an actual, real and present danger and very applicable to the aspiring and actual professional property manager/investor.

On the other hand, true private lenders are not professional lenders and hedge fund type lenders (which is what hard money lenders are), but instead are regular people in your circle and sphere of influence.

Readers should seek professional advice.

By a professional estimate I mean having a contractor bid the work, not just me estimating the jobs. 

Readers should seek professional advice.

That doesn't pass a cursory BS test, and risks the appraiser calling out either fixed plumbing + permits, or a licensed professional remove the bathroom.