Generally, investors want their deal sponsors to have some skin in the game financially.What you've described seems more like a hard money loan type of situation, which is going to cost a bit more than equity investment. 

LTV - I’m indifferent on having equity, however, if I would of originated the note I would of looked to have at least a few thousand dollars as a DP for the homeowner to have some skin in the gameRate - 8 - 12%Term - Longer than 15 years and at time of acquisition no more than half of the way throughAs-is Value - greater than 50kMortgage PMT - greater than $400/monthLocation - In a populated city of 20,000 people or greater along with strong economics. 

They have more skin in the game then you do.Make sure you get clear title.

In addition the borrower must have unrestricted access without penalty to the accounts; and if the assets are in the form of stocks, bonds, or mutual funds, 70% of the value (remaining after any applicable costs for the subject transaction) must be used to determine the number of distributions remaining to account for the volatile nature of these assets

I'm conservative by nature and understand the statistics of having to sift through many homes, offers, and deals to the find the right one while sticking to my guns on my criteria.

Everyone feels better when the borrower has skin in the game.Here’s what I suggest.

@Lee Stephens make sure to account for the following expenses in your calculations:1) Mortgage2) Mortgage insurance (PMI or MIP) or FHA Risk base3) Property Taxes4) City Taxes5) HOA (Home Owner’s Association) Dues and Fees and Assessments6) Insurance  a) Property Hazard Insurance (0.3-0.45%)  b) Flood Insurance  c) Earthquake Insurance  d) Umbrella Insurance7) Vacancy Rate (usually 8% - the equivalent to one month a year, or 5-6% if multifamily and/or if experienced, if not use 8%)8) Utilities (you’ll have these if your tenant is not covering them and/or during vacancy)  a) Water § Sewer § Garbage  b) Electricity  c) Natural Gas  d) Propane9) General Maintenance (usually 5%)  a) Upkeep § Landscaping  b) Snow removal c) Repairs  d) New Appliances  e) Make ready10) Capital Expenditures (usually 5%, higher is the property is old and obsolete, less if fully rehabbed and all mechanicals and roof are new)11) Property Management (8%, even if you self manage, your time still has value and there might be a time when you'll want to be completely hands off or you'll not be able to do it, vacation, retirement, etc.), including...  

I'm almost certain a hard money lender is going to require you to have some skin in the game since there's not a whole lot of left over meat on the bones. :-)   Maybe a more senior investor could give you better advice but this is my observation.

I’m just wondering “how” I can skin this cat.

Due to the nature of my job (I move around a lot), I HAVE to invest out of state.