plus the surgery you'll need to take the hair on the back of your head and use it to replace all the hair you lose on top during the process can be quite expensive...

Charles, this isn't brain surgery.

Drain pumps on both of those are plastic (usually) and will crack when the water in them freezes.Before draining the hot water heater and heating system, the fuel source to them is shut-off.The water heater will be drained.Boilers and radiators will be drained.Not sure about sump pumps - you would want them to pump out water, but if things freeze ...Not a pool guy, so I have no idea about those.After winterizing, there will be signs posted (taped on) all over the place identifying that the place has been winterized and who the contractor was that performed that task and their contact info.

plus no oil no tune ups no nothing .. its all software driven software is updated at night when you sleep and they are always adding features.. regular cars it is what it is when you drive it off. unless you get after market stuff that you have to schedule and do surgery on your vehicle. 

I can watch late night TV for hours and get pitched every last piece of plastic junk that is guaranteed to make me look 18 again.

You can just staple-gun some rubber or plastic sheeting (kind of like shelf-liner) and upturn the edges for some drip catching.Or, you can "tile" under the counter with the peel-and-stick adhesive tiles.

HD sells a plastic discharge pipe that's threaded on one end for $3.

I’m really only here in Long Beach with family recuperating from back surgery.

If doing new construction and flooring is going to be replaced I plastic over windows and call someone to spray it.

As dry as it is there, you should be able to put a 6 mil plastic moisture barrier down, overlap and tape the seams, This will block ground moisture from getting to most of the wood.A french drain and sump pump are required when water comes in and has to be channeled and pumped out on occasion.