@Thomas S.
Thank you for your post. It's harsh but honest. I respect that.
The one issue I have is that I can see only 2 options.
OPTION A: I spend the next 20 years trying to work more and pay off the student loan debts. I can continue to work 60-80+ hours a week with second and third jobs, miss my family, skip creating memories with them and in 10-20 years be debt free. The problem is I will also be asset free. And starting at square 1 when I am 60 years old. Since I am self employed, there is no nest egg or retirement waiting for me.
OPTION B. I can choose to work smart. If I buy 3-4 houses that can cash flow $200 per month, the renters are paying for my student loans. Double that and my wife's student loans are paid for as well. All by me simply leveraging time and OPM.
As for drive, that's an awfully big assumption. I'd say success comes not just from drive but from opportunity. And just because some people have large debt loads don't assume it's because they live lavish lifestyles. Over 60% of bankruptcies in America are simply due to medical bills, not because the people had to large of house payments or drove the newest cars.
Because while having a way but no will is pure laziness, having a will but no way ... that's just plain frustrating.
I do fortunately have equity in my home. But your advice is different form everyone else's here, so I'd explore that train of thought. If I sold my house, I could apply the proceeds to the outstanding debts. But then I would have to rent a place to live, and in the market I am in, renting a an apartment is only a few hundred dollars less than owning my own home. Plus now I'd lose all future appreciation in my house, not to mention the interest deduction for the taxes. How would that ultimately benefit me more than staying put?