What a crazy market we have here....
We got all these people who have no experience what so ever in REI trying to do condo conversions of all things, which is pretty much a step up in terms of what you need to know from just flipping and or holding.
So I've been getting these crazy phone calls. I got this one about 3 weeks ago. It was crazy because I'm talking to this ditsy blond. She has no clue what she's talking about or no clue how a condo conversion is done. But is interested in buying my building to do one. Then she's asking me all these questions about how it you'd go about doing it. Oh man! I should have maybe asked her a few questions like "are you single" and "maybe we could meet for coffee to talk about this more" LOL....
But it gets worse...
This number was on my phone yesterday. So I thought it could be a buyer so I call it back. I get this young sounded reggae/gangster type on the phone.
I thought at first as I was asking if he had called that he had the wrong number or something. Then he's like "ya mann, you got dat 15 unit upawtmant fa sale?" so I'm like "Ya actually it is"....
So we start talking about it, and very quickly I could tell this guy has no clue what he's talking about. Maybe another individual who has some money but has no experience whatsoever. And in this extremely hot market that were in here in my city he's trying to get a major discount on the price.
Then when I wouldn't negotiate he get's all mad and says something like....and he actually said this.....
"Ya mann like da situation da vay I see it is dat afta doin da condo conversion, if I paid ya price mann, I wouldn't hav any profit left on da table"
(So I'm thinking to myself...."ya so what don't buy, and if you knew anything about the market I'm already priced about 15 to 20% below FMV. And if you knew anything about condo conversion you'd know the process is going to take a while. And by the time you go to sell them it will be next spring again when the prices will have arisen dramatically, which is when you'll take your profits")
Then right after he said that says to me......"Ya man you'd be screwing me on da deal, whatch wanna stick a f***ing dildo up my a** mann on dis deal or something mann. Well just to put it blunt."
("No that's not putting it blunt. You go stick that dildo up your own *** and get back to smoking your blunt, which is all your good for you gangsta wannabe"....I almost felt like saying to him)
Oh man like I literally should have just hung up at that point, but the conversation was going reasonably okay up until that point. I just thought it was so funny though. Like I'm thinking "wow this guy is gonna do extremely well at this business with those shrewd and diplomatic purchase negotiating tactics he has. not".
Man whenever I get those calls I just think, if I didnt' have this other deal looming in the horizon, and didn't need the money right away, I'd probably do the conversion myself. Rather that let Joe Shmoe come in and make such a big chunk of change. Anyway I just thought it was a really weird and funny conversation.