A couple of things:
1. You are not alone. We have all had challenges in this and you should be proud of what you have accomplished. People who love to own property but can't for a variety of reasons. Take a second, breathe, and write down how this experience has made you better in the long run.
2. Have you explored renting by the room, vacation rental, traveling nurses, rent for filming, etc. to increase cash flow?
3. I know it was mentioned earlier, but you really need to have the conversation with your CPA. You may make up some of those loses in tax savings.
4. This might be a long shot but have you considered moving into the duplex? By doing this, you could refinance into a lower, owner occupied rate. Maybe your existing residence can become your new rental.
5. Can you offer any other services at the duplex to increase cash flow? For example charging a utility fee for the water or providing coin operated laundry.
6. Can you bring in a business partner? They can help you in recouping costs and you split the property management work. It can get messy but just something to think about.
I had gone way too deep on a property before. My wife and I ended with over $100K in credit card debt, plus stress. We ended up moving into the second unit, which was a 360 square foot ADU and rented the main house. After two years, we refinanced twice and moved into the main house. Now we could move out and this would cash flow. It just takes time.
As Brandon Turner said on one of the podcasts, "Real Estate is very Forgiving."