All Forum Posts by: Michelle Burgstaler

Jennifer Rysdam ~ Thank you, I am grateful for your valuable input. I didn't know about the possibility of a home equity loan and i will definitely look in to that! His credit score is 776, so i would think he could qualify. My job involves 12-hr shifts that vary by week. When i'm not there, i'm usually working on the vacation rental, managing, improving, cleaning. i've been neglectful of my 20-year ebay business over the past 10 months as i put all of my time into renovating and managing the vacation rental, but i will try to start focusing on that to make some extra money. :-)

Hi Steve - For the DMP's i'm looking at, everything i've read indicates that they will negotiate lower interest rates, charge me a monthly fee, and then take my payment and distribute it to the cc companies. if not literally stated, it's at least implied that they're making these payments monthly. If what you say is true, I would completely ignore that option.

How about me negotiating with all of my creditors EXCEPT discover - and defaulting on that one? I've had the card for 8.5 years and it shows 100% on-time payments. I owed them $6530 on 8/2017. Over 2 years, I charged $250 and got a cash advance of $160. Also in past 2 years, I made $3365 in payments ($277 went to late fees). My balance today is $6397. I am confident that if I looked up the prior 6 years, it would show pretty much the same thing; carrying this same balance for about 7 years and making no headway. That would equate to about $21k in interest paid, wouldn't it?! Would they take that into consideration if I tried to negotiate with them? Say, "Jeez, i've already paid you $20k in interest - can you cut me a break?" Or, again, just default...???

I have my spreadsheet completed, figuring out the budget and will try to start on your "Dave Ramsey" plan this month. Thank you again for all of your sound advice! :-)

Erik Whiting - your advice is invaluable. Yes, we have a major problem. We have been married 25 years, i was a gambler when we met, have had periods of abstinence over the years, but he has (understandably) never been able to trust me (in regard to money) and probably never will. We have never, ever been on the same page as far as finances go; he is a cautious saver and i am, ahem, a gambler. I am actually the whiz/geek in our relationship - it would be very difficult to introduce online banking (or anything online for that matter) to him. It's hard for him to understand it, which leads to not trusting it.

Unfortunately, i don't feel this is a good time to ask him to become my financial teammate. I can guarantee he would not be open to it, not now. He would see it as a losing proposition, no gain for him, just some tactic to try to get money from him or to gain control over 'his' money. He does not forgive or forget easily. I think that once I have a better handle on my own personal debt, and assuming I can continue to prove to him that i can abstain from gambling and perhaps be trusted some day, that would be the time for me to incorporate your excellent advice. Thank you again, I appreciate it very much.

Jerry - I looked into tenancy by the entirety (had never heard of it before) and found this: In 1890, the Minnesota Supreme Court identified that the tenancy by the entirety form of real property title ownership had been abolished in Minnesota,... so i'm guessing it's not even an option? i have considered divorce to protect my husband from my debt (i know he has, too, because of all the heartache i've caused him, loss of trust etc). he wanted me to sign all of our property over to him last fall because he was worried my debt would cause him/us to lose our house. i tried to assure him that they aren't going to take our house or our properties away - i think i'm right, i hope so? 

To Steve - just saw your last post,

If you can't make payments on some of the larger unsecured balances, so be it. Go back to them when you get to them on the list in a couple years and make them a settlement offer of 25%.

Again, your fico score isn't the important thing now. So what if it drops 30 points a month when it's already down so much? Build it after you clear this up and get your serenity back.

Thank you. This is straight-forward and makes me feel like it's a plan. I will still check out Dave Ramsey - whatever i can find that is free. I am currently going through all of my cc accounts online, creating yet another spreadsheet and determining exactly what is owed, what the interest rates are and who i've already set up "hardship programs" with (one is reduced to 12% for some time period, probably 6mo-1yr) and at what interest rates. I discovered one of the cards is at a 'penalty rate' of 31.65%. didn't even know such a thing existed, wow. 

Can you tell me before you guys "give up on me", because nobody has really addressed it, is a Debt Mgmt Program NOT the way to go, and why?

Thank you, Billy. I feel like I swam into the middle of a lake, I'm drowning and there's a lifeboat just a little further out... but the people on shore are saying, "This is your own fault, you should have known better! Just turn around, keep swimming, you'll make it back to shore!" And they don't realize that I just don't have the strength.

Oops on the m, old school habit. (From internet search - The letter M is the roman numeral for 1,000 and has had that meaning currently and in the past. Some now use the M to signify million and K to signify thousand). Theresa Harris, i've let my credit score tank too much to have any balance transfers available. And doing that in the past helped me get into the situation i'm in (transfer balance, then rack up credit on BOTH cards...little to no willpower over my addiction). 

Steve, you are right about the relapse and it IS something i fear. Greatly. Maybe I'm throwing myself a pity party, but I just can't deal with making payments that are 75% interest. Getting nowhere, with no feeling of accomplishment. Apparently why gambling appealed to me - instant gratification? I'd rather just quit my job and give up completely. What's the point of going on like this? And do i forego paying the largest balance CC to pay off the smallest one? Because i don't make enough to make all of the payments. I have some programs with some of the CC companies that has lowered my interest and frozen my account(s). Should I do that with ALL of them? Should I go ahead and let my credit score get even lower; it's already dropped 30pts this month and is down to 554.

Andrew, your advice and your wisdom are priceless. I'm crying, but I'm so happy to hear from you. I am going to print your reply and post it on my wall. the only thing i can't do is refi the primary, because it is my husband's pride and joy that it is paid off; and no matter if it is financially advisable to do otherwise, he will not budge. And i can understand that for now. Your last paragraph is spot-on. I have immersed myself in turning one of our rentals into an Airbnb vacation rental for the past year, (very lucrative at this point, not sure how it will fare during a Minnesota winter) and will continue to try to keep myself "otherwise occupied". :-) Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

Hi Steve - thank you for taking the time to help me. :-) i happened across Dave Ramsey's youtube videos many months ago; absolutely LOVED him - i will have to revisit. 

i should mention that i did a self-ban at the casino and am not allowed there (legally!). that was a huge step for me.

While i 100% agree with you that refinancing one of the houses will not cure the behavior/underlying problem, i still think it would be a step forward? Payments i could afford (barely) at a significantly lower interest rate. 

We owe $50m on the rental, making $310 payments now at 4.75%, final payment in 2043. if we're able to refinance to a 15 year mortgage at 4.125%, the payments would be $600 and paid off 9 years sooner. Isn't that smarter than a DMP at possibly 8%?? Isn't that a smart decision even if I didn't have this CC debt to deal with?

Paying $800/month with $600 of it going to interest makes me feel utterly hopeless, depressed, suicidal. I only make $860/month. And the only logical reason I can come up with for continuing at this rate would be that I deserve to be punished for getting myself into this situation in the first place. Which may be true, but i don't know that i can go on this way much longer. I need to do something that at least feels proactive, whether it be the DMP or the refinance?

Thank you, Jay, I'll check out Steve Vaughan! I guess I don't want to get rid of ALL the cards because that would really tank my credit score (i think?) - but you're absolutely right, that's really what i SHOULD do. maybe give them to my husband (who'll probably burn them!)? And since you didn't mention it, i'm guessing that's a nay on the mortgage refinance. i hope someone can explain why before i/we do something i/we shouldn't...