“You’re wrong.” These words will put you at odds with anyone. Try it. It’s a tad unethical but I’m experimenting. Again and again I am amazed at people’s deflation. Their shoulders sag, their tone sharpens, and their confidence melts.
Onboard the USS Carney we are tasked with learning the ship’s systems. I was bored by a friends lecture on radars. I interrupted him after ten minutes of verbose detail and said he didn’t know what he was talking about. He tripped on his tongue. He didn’t have to say it, I knew what he was thinking. He wanted to slap the **** out of me. His eyes saved his hands the work.
We know I didn’t have a clue. But I had to break the monotony and run my experiment. It turned the humdrum lesson into one worth value. People do not like to be wrong. Our first technique from How To Win Friends and Influence People: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
“…criticisms are like homing pigeons.”
Catch yourself when you are not abiding. You will get good. After years of playing, I habitually- usually when I’m hungry- drop the ball. Knowing that I have bobbled allows me to quickly reorient.
Constructive habits should orient your life. If you’re not going up, you’re going down. I’m not helping a thing when I break these simple rules. When I abide I have saved a lot of face.
We are products of our habits. I know this is true. You can’t tell me I’m wrong. I always dismount my bike from the same side. I always use my right hand to eat. I am always quick to find fault. Some of these habits make sense. Rationale is a gift. Don’t let it collect dust like an old college textbook.
The more I read the larger my world becomes. The more I read the smaller I seem. You and I, don’t have to be right. Ever. It will not make us bigger. It will not save us time. It will not win us friends.
So forgive me if the next time you are complaining I interrupt you with, “You’re wrong.” “To know all is to forgive all.” Let that marinade.
If you get the chance to play catch or nicely tell someone they are wrong (notice your reaction if someone tells you). Tell me about it! I’d love to hear. What are some simple habits you have overlooked? For now, practice patience and stop whining. This will help us while we network to build our real estate businesses.
P.S. Sorry Dad for the times I bitched when you made me and my friends do chores on a hungover Sunday morning. I wish I didn’t know now, what I knew back then.
And for mom’s fresh honey!!
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