Out of state makes me nervous. I would not rent to anybody without deposit and first months rent before they move in. She doesn't want to pay for a hotel, she won't want to pay for her rent. Does she think that she will save money by NOT paying your required deposit?
We are also trying to find our first tenant for our first house and have only gotten 4 apps out of 10 showings out of about 30 calls in two weeks. Many people schedule a showing and don't show up. It is par for the course if you are in a low income unit like I am. And just from your story I can tell that you are. A bounty hunter? Hahaha! I guess even bounty hunters have to live somewhere. Doesn't sound like a stable income to me. Are you charging your cost to run the application? That fee alone will weed out 90 percent of the people as the loosers don't even have the 25 bucks for an app.
The best motivator I have found is to tell them that we will approve the first qualified candidate and it is first come first serve. If they really like the house we give them the option to give us a deposit (equal to the amount of the security deposit) to hold the house for up to the end of the month. If we approve them we will transfer the deposit to their security deposit and require first months rent before they move in. If they want to move in early we might give them a few days or we will prorate the rent. If they are denied we refund the deposit but never the app fee.
The hardest decision I had to make recently was declining someone who gave us the app fee AND the deposit to hold. It wasn't hard to refund the money, but it was hard to turn down the first applicants who put their money where their mouth was. Still, they were trouble waiting to happen.
I would treat utilities like this: Figure your own average monthy utilities. Multiply times 1.5 and add that to the rent. If you loose money over the course of the year, adust up until you make some profit for providing the utilities. I would also work in some language into the contract to protect you from extreme increases above the anticipated utility costs. I hope to never have to deal with tenant's utilities.