Great insight Ron Plata!
As consumers and users of all the new technology, we are used to instant responses and never think about the guy who has the job at the lending institution. From my own experience, refinancing out of hard money loans is ALOT of pressure and it is easy to get stressed out and take it out on the traditional lender employees that never seem to move fast enough when month after month we are paying that high interest on a property. However, we all know dealing with traditional lenders is extremely slow, but we are forced to put up with it in order to get the great rates. I have used one mortgage lender to refinance two properties within 3 months and they still asked me for all of the same documentation that I use on the first one and the second took just as long (At least 30 days). UNBELIEVABLE. As others have said, you have to find a good mortgage lender and build a relationship with them over time. Like RE, this is a numbers game and trial and error. My first lender was great and I built the relationship, but that ended at 4 properties. The search continues, so you are not alone in finding the perfect lender, if they exist.
I try to put myself in the lenders shoes, and there ultimate goal is to maximize the rate of return on deployed capital. Thus, traditional lenders are all in right now to loan money they can get back from the secondary market at lower rates (i.e. FNMA, Freddie Mac, etc.). Unfortunately, banks and you all fall under the same guidelines for these loans. Portfolio lenders that will loan their own money and keep the loans will require higher rates as they are also in the business to make money. Thus, the more properties you acquire, the harder it will be to finance them at the lower rates. If you can still cash flow positive and still make a descent return using a portfolio lender at 6% to 8% leaving 25% capital in, you will most likely find the customer service you are looking for.
This is the reality and you should factor this in on the buy side of things and with your exit strategy.
I hope this helps with the mindset and understanding in the current market we are in.