Hey John,
I'm still kind of new to wholesaling, but I'll take a crack at it. I'm sure someone who is more seasoned will reply and I'd like to see if we'll be on the same page.
I believe that much of this scenario depends on the type of contract that you use and the time that you allow to pass by.
For example, if you use a flex contract, it allows the seller to market their house while you market it as well. So if they find a buyer before you, no harm no foul, except for the time you've spent.
On a straight option contract as well as a flex option contract, most seasoned investors will use a clause that will allow them to backout of the contract in the event they are unable to wholesale. One of the main ones that I have seen is something like:
"This contract is contingent upon buyer's inspection period of xx days."
If you haven't gotten the house assigned by the end of the period specified, then you can advise the seller that the home did not pass inspection by your "partner" and any EMD is refundable.
With that said, from what I've seen, most investors here don't give an earnest money deposit. Their contracts are specifically written that way. Or, if they do give a deposit, it is minimal, such as $10 or $100.
Regarding how often this sort of thing happens, I'll leave that for someone who has a good amount of experience to answer for you.
Either way, good luck in your new ventures.
Danielle C.