Hi Ken,
I'm right there with you--my husband and I both work full time, we have two young kids (1 and 3) and we've recently pulled the trigger on getting serious about RE investing. It took him three years to convince me a good idea; he started talking about it when my oldest was a wee baby and we had just moved house, and I was like NOPE, I can't handle any more changes right now, and I already hated being away from my little one for work, didn't want to add more distractions. Another baby and another move later and he's still talking about it, and I still resisted. But then my job started turning extra miserable, right around the time we put our last house on the market, which I now call an accidental live in flip--it was an REO, we had some work done but I did a lot of work myself, just because that's what homeowners do...we are about to close on it and clear ~$40K. That helped things to start to click. I listen to a few podcasts, read a few books, and suddenly I'm hooked.
All that said, we've committed ourselves to timeblocking scraps and shreds of time to taking action, visiting 3 properties a week (kids in tow sometimes), assigned ourselves various lead streams to analyze, taking turns getting kids out of the house on weekends so the other can work, attending 2 networking events per month, setting up systems, having a weekly battle planning meeting. We haven't made an offer yet, but already it is HARD! Like you, I'm up at 5am to get a tiny bit done (when one of the littles doesn't sabotage my plans with an early wakeup), using an hour or so at work (I'm more efficient than most of my co-workers, so I figure I'm due), bleary-eyed time at the computer when I'm dead tired after bedtime. We hope to have our first deal under contract early in the new year, and we'll need to take every little sign of progress to heart.
I know it's going to get way harder once we actually have our first property, so we'll need to stay focused on the vision. For me, the vision isn't about working less, it's about setting my own schedule. Being able to go to school concerts and teacher meetings, etc. Building wealth, working with purpose, directing my creativity and talents to developing something that will serve our family. And eventually donating of my well-paying/secure state job to someone who wants that path:)
Feel free to share this with your wife if you're trying to get her more on board, or I'd be happy to talk with her.
Best of luck, please share how things evolve!
Chrissa