Our first nightmare tenant experience was like what you’re describing. And I totally agree with what @Sean McKenna says above. Very matter of fact, courteous, timely responses that don’t get you caught up in their drama.
I use a free CRM service called HubSpot that works alongside my Outlook mail app to log and time stamp every email I send and receive from tenants. All correspondence lines up directly under their profile so you’re not hunting down multiple emails if you need them for legal purposes.
My business partner and I are both married to mental health counselors who we called on to help with handling our difficult tenants like yours. Yours sound identical to our situation and ours had clear sets of issues that amplify every little thing that seemed wrong with the apartment. Sean’s approach above is exactly how to handle this type of personality disorder which is a very difficult one to deal with. In fact there’s a whole treatment discipline built around this type of person because they’re so challenging. Our wives teach a summer college class on it!
So against that, I’d end this lease ASAP...they don’t get any better!!