@Jason Mendoza,
Hi Jason, I am licensed in Colorado, but have some insights on the issues you mentioned that will definitely be relevant in NJ.
For starters, if the seller does not wish to pay a buyer's agent, the buyer can certainly hire their own. If the typical agent commission is objectionable, have them search "discount realtor" or "flat fee realtor" in their area and I am confident they can find an agent (paid by the buyer) that will work for 1% or less. And, in the case of owner-carry financing, just make sure the agent understands these transactions, or that you have someone involved that does.
Concerning owner-carry, there are two primary types; one that passes title to the buyer and one that sits in escrow. For a number of reasons, my preference on behalf of the buyer is the one that passes legal title to the buyer. If title sits in escrow, this is usually called a Contract For Deed, or an Installment Land Contract. With either, I would STRONGLY suggest your fam member seek advice from a knowledgeable RE Attorney, who will ensure they do not get into trouble.
With owner-carry financing of any type, I would require a qualified intermediary or equivalent in their state, who will make sure that payments are received and payments to any underlying mortgage company are made properly. As well, any intermediary who understands private real estate financing, will handle monthly, quarterly and year-end reporting for both buyer and seller and will hold original closing docs in trust. The qualified intermediary will pretty much handle anything not already being handled by the RE attorney or Title Co.
One more thing: Most mainstream title companies will not close a Contract for Deed deal (because their is no title insurance involved), however, a knowledgeable real estate attorney will. If seller financing involves passing legal title at close, then you can use most any competent title company. If title insurance is not involved, make sure a title report is run in order to dig up any issues that may exist. In the case of Contract for Deed, just make sure that someone officially records (at the county of jurisdiction) some form of Memorandum of Contract for Deed, or Land Contract. Do not record the actual document, just a memorandum of the event so that it creates a "partial cloud" on the title. Again, the RE attorney or Title Co will know about and handle this step. As well, either will know the rules and law concerning reporting such a transaction to the county assessor and/or treasurer.
A couple more important points: Make sure your fam member has a fresh market appraisal done on the property and pay no more that current value when using seller financing. The age-old trick is that a more unscrupulous seller might add 10% or more to the value for the opportunity of carrying private paper. And, it goes without saying the buyer should have the usual properties inspections done.
If done properly, using pros that understand how to handle owner-carry deals properly and legally, they work great. If not, they can be a nightmare! Good luck with it!