From what I understand, due on sale is virtually never an actual issue. Though that's certainly not a given. But many people on here discuss the topic and very few, if any, actually experience the problem.
I don't want to be a property manger, I want to be an equity partner. If we had vast sums of cash to pool, we wouldn't need each other's help. I guess I didn't literally mean "these are your two units and these are mine" it's just a simple way of looking at it for running the math to see what it should be worth to me. Essentially it would be like each buying a duplex. We wouldn't keep the maintenance costs separate physically that would just be silly.
All I'm asking here, and nobody seems to be able to give me an answer, is whether or not there's a way to become an equity partner with someone who buys a 4-family with an FHA and house hacks it. I know most people do that alone, but if he wants to house hack for a year and then buy his own actual long term house, I'd be essentially providing him with the down payment for his future house in order to buy into the 4-family.