Hey Joe, super exciting you want to get started!
I'm of the opinion that taking a 10% penalty is unnecessary. I love the eagerness but I don't think that's the right move. I would just keep the invested funds in the 401k and let compound interest to continue to work its magic.
You could take a loan out against your 401k. Solid benefits here but also a decent amount of risk.
It seems like you're a pretty frugal guy and can save up pretty quickly. I'd also say $45k is more than you need to get started house hacking - unless you plan on doing it in Newport Beach lol. I'd say find a more affordable area in OC that's still a reasonable commute for you and house hack there. Remember for your first home purchase, you can use 3% down conventional. There are also so many down payment assistance programs (check out link below), esp for first time home buyers. Lots of ways to bring little money to closing.
Do you have any other funds that are more liquid than your 401k? I've thought about this same question and still think it's not wise to take the penalty and tax hit when you really don't need to.