Avoiding the "B" Word in Lending

Let’s open this week’s column with a quote from Dr. Ben Carson, head of the United States Department of Urban Development – also known by it’s much cooler street nickname of HUD (which is not to be confused with the Paul Newman movie of the same name):

“Bureaucrats are people who think their rules are more important than the goals.”

This column isn’t going to be about breaking the rules or anything like that – quite the opposite, actually. Here in our culture, we often talk about and revere the mavericks, the rule breakers. They make for a good movie or book, for sure. However, when people excel and achieve while KEEPING the rules – no matter how restrictive they may seem – THAT is when you have a very cool and intriguing story.

Anyone who’s been forced to read some of Shakespeare’s sonnets can attest to the fact he seems to use A LOT of words to convey a simple thought. One might argue that Old Will was getting paid by the word, so he was fluffing it up at every turn. However, when you learn a little more about Shakespeare you’ll find that he was a very skillful writer who used every word concisely. Let me explain.

When writing many of his sonnets, he employed something called iambic pentameter (which sounds like a disease you get from not taking your vitamins) – it’s a sort of rhythm he used when writing these sonnets that forced him to find the perfect word with the proper number of syllables or one that could be “chopped up” to fit that rhythm. In other words, by using this cadence and living by its “rules”, he demonstrated that he had a much better command of the language and ability to express his thoughts than many of his contemporaries – he stood out, and he was highly sought after by patrons (customers) because of this.

As I said before, this column’s purpose this week is not to advocate rule breaking but to praise and laud those people who play by the rules AND WIN. I’m not going to get all controversial on you, but that’s the reason so many people refuse to recognize Barry Bonds as the reigning home run champion of all time – they think he found a way AROUND the rules, and they don’t wish to honor him. (If you want to argue amongst yourselves about the validity of Bonds’ title, I’ll wait.)

Sure, there are illegal and unethical means that less-than-stellar agents and loan officers can (and sometimes do) employ to “get ahead” of the competition – these folks should be avoided like the plague (and iambic pentameter – I prefer poetry that rhymes). But when you’re a self-employed stamp collector whose sole source of income is bartered beaver pelts and we get you a loan when no one else can, it’ll be because we played by the rules and kept looking until we found something that fit for you – we’ll stand out, and we’ll be highly sought after by your friends and family because of this.

For those other lenders who insist that their rules won’t allow them to give you a loan, I can think of another “B” word to describe them: BUMMER!