You Are Not Alone.

       Sometimes you just want to give up. In the world of real estate the amount of rejection you receive can become overwhelming. Questions come to the for front of your mind: what am I doing wrong? can I do this? Am I wasting my time? As one that makes their living in real estate my familiarity with miss trust, fear and general disregard for my humanity has thickened my skin and has given me a prompt introduction to self doubt and the urge to fail. Yet, here I am writing, practicing real estate and growing into my career as an investor. It is ok to think about giving up, but before you follow through, maybe give it some thought.

   Success is broadcasted across the internet, amongst your colleagues and friends. There was a point in which I did not like hearing about all the success of others. Yet, I continued to listen, read and ask myself, “what am I doing wrong?” To put it simply, what I was doing was comparing myself with people with different bills, skill sets, levels of experience and we were just not in the same ball game. If you find yourself in the same loop, ask yourself not what you are doing wrong, but “how do I become better?” How can you improve your business, your network, can you become healthier and in what ways can you improve the relationships you have with those around you. It can be overwhelming, but you are reading an article on a financial blog, so you aren’t doing everything wrong!

   Going from a person that was starting from the wrong perspective, I have actively made the steps to ask how to better my self. The first step was to change my personal life. As a life long  athlete  I have always been involved with either a gym or a sport, but as I started my real estate career I decided that sports were too expensive and I did not have the time. The result was that I gained twenty pounds, lost energy and had to buy all new clothes! In an act to just lift my spirits I set out to find a new sport, traditionally I played rugby, but an injury would be devastating, so I went online and discovered a whole new world of pick-up soccer. It is free, fun and on average thirty to sixty people would come Monday through Friday. So money turned out to be a non-issue as the pick up games are free. It was silly not to put my self into an established network of people, because these are people that all live in homes and even own homes! I did not join to make money or to find people I can do deals with, but I joined to take a break for the day. Now that I am working out weekly I have more energy and as a result I am more effective in my work life. Not to mention I plugged myself into a large network of healthy, interesting and good people! I went because I was sad, because I had gained weight and I needed an escape. What I discovered was that the big changes I needed to make in my business did not necessarily involve new add campaigns, rethinking my marketing or anything you directly relate with real estate, but the changes that can mean the most to your career can be simple, small and can lead to a compound effect that just keeps rolling through the rest of your life.

  It is ok to be uncomfortable. If you take my advice and think about all the things that you can improve in your self, you may become a little overwhelmed. It is ok. I started soccer because I was uncomfortable. The problem is not that you are uncomfortable, the problem arises when you do nothing about it. The simple fact that you feel uncomfortable means that your self is telling you something. What is it telling you? I have no Idea! I’m me and you are you, just take the time to figure it out and pivot! Now as a caveat to the notion of changing your direction, only do so if you have put thought into it and you have determined that your current strategy is not working and will not work in the future. I put no thought into starting a sport but I did take the time to think about what it meant to continue on a weekly bases and recognized it’s importance to my physical and mental health. That set the ball rolling and brought me to think about how I was conducting my business. I had been spending all my time hustling and learning and not enough time developing a business. However, I did not immediately change direction but took the time to look at what was making me money and what was not. One issue I had was not vetting people before I started working with them. I found that certain people like to talk about real estate and there are people that engage in real estate, I was chasing talkers! So I pivoted, which meant that I had to present my self as a professional, because I wanted to work with professionals, which meant I needed to brand myself. The point is that you need to take the time to think. Think in a quiet place and give earnest time to the task, everyday! If you are uncomfortable determine why and how you can make the change or how long you will give to your current strategy.

   Is quitting the same as failure? Depends. What are your goals? If you do not know your goals then review the last paragraph and take the time to THINK! By “quitting” I am referring to the task that you are undertaking to achieve your ultimate goal. My mission statement is to “help as many people as possible in a meaningful way.” Do I need to be in real estate to achieve this goal? No. However, as an investor you find a forgotten, smelly, squatter ridden home and you turn it around to rent or sell. What have you just done? You have just taken a sore spot in a neighborhood and made a home for someone. Someone loses a family member and they are left with a home that they cannot afford to pay the taxes, repairs and have no interest in renting it out. This can be a huge weight on a person's shoulders and by helping them get the most for their home or unloading that property in the fastest way possible, you have just helped someone in a meaningful way. Your goals may be about securing a future for your children, for your wife, for your husband, but try to make your goals meaningful to you, not just about units and cash flow.

  You are stronger than you believe. You are kind. You are generous. You are what you believe your self to be. Take this moment to think about who you want to be and make small or radical steps in that direction. You do not fail until you make the decision.

What to do when you feel like giving up:

-Think of what and why you are doing what you are doing. Writing helps.

(this is the reason you have this article to read in the first place).

-Take the time to think of what you can do to solve your problem.

-Look at what small tasks you can accomplish the fastest and with the most ease, do them and carry the momentum into more difficult tasks.

-Be kind to your self, but understand that it is ok to be uncomfortable, it is just yourself telling you that action needs to be taken.

-Take a day off (unless your problem is too many days off!)

-when you feel the most down, beaten and frustrated: Stop, think and take action (no matter how small that action step may be)!