Be the 6th Man

Now I'm not going to talk about the basketball 6th man. But somehow it's related and at the same time unrelated. 

What I'm referring here is how we tend to live up to the expectations of others. There's a theory about this and that's called the Pygmalion Theory. Go ahead and Google it and you'll find something really interesting.

Here's the quick and dirty definition: It is the phenomenon whereby higher expectations lead to an increase in performance.

I was really fascinated by this concept the first time I heard about it. It made me change my views and how I relate with people around me and, most importantly, with myself. Ever since I learned this, I started to expect the best from everyone including myself in every situation. 

The world just became a much better place. 

When you think about it, every person has something good to offer, which includes ourselves. I felt I always have something great to offer to the world! This gets me excited all the time!

I consider this a hack and in order for this to work, you have to know how to maximize this phenomenon. This is where being the 6th man comes in. 

But first answer this question: Ever wondered why people judge you by who you associate with? 

Well, the plain truth is you are who your friends are. You may have heard this a couple of times in the BiggerPockets Webinars and in the new courses. This is definitely not news. But what I'm trying to say here is that it has something to do with the theory I was blabbing about earlier.

The connection

We live by the expectations of all the people that directly surrounds us. This has shown to have a huge impact and we don't even notice it sometimes. This is because it works subconsciously. 

You may just be hanging out with your drunkard friends at first just to have fun. But as you spend more and more time with them, the next time you know, you're drinking 5 bottles of beer on your own and suddenly your life is in a rut and you didn't even know what happened.

You see when you surround yourself with people who have less expectation with you and probably for themselves, you end up living up to that expectation. You end up being one of them. 

Now I'm not saying that you should avoid these people, but instead you have to manage your time with them. A great author once said, you have three types of friends: the growth friends, the old friends, and the maintenance friends. 

Old friends are those you keep and are those the ones who you invite during occasions but not necessarily spend all your time with.

Maintenance friends are those who you basically "maintain." Perhaps because they need you or you think they need them. These friends drain your energy and may have stayed the same ever since you met them.

Now you have the growth friends. These are the friends who inspire you to reach your dreams just because they are reaching theirs. These people are the ones that you readily share your dreams and ideals in life without the ridicule or feeling an outcast. These are the friends you want to spend more time with. These are the friends that have high expectations for you and help you reach your better version.

So how do these all sum up? You need to add more of these growth friends if you don't have any of them yet.

Find 5 successful real estate investor in your area, and you'll be the 6th successful investor in time.

Find 5 loving husband / wife in your community. Spend time with them and you will be the best husband/wife to your family!

Find 5 vibrant people who are passionate with what they do and you will be the 6th man!

So be the 6th man. Find those 5 growth people and make them your friends. Life is short. So make the most of the journey by spending it with the people that have higher expectations of you!

PS. I always write a blog whenever I get to be excited about BiggerPockets and the projects we have in store for everyone. Cheers to greater days!