Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me! There are a lot of little children's sayings that have to do with lying. They were probably all written by parents who were landlords; not as a result of the children lying, but because of the tenants lying! As a landlord, I'm so cynical that I just assume that everyone is lying until proven otherwise. When it comes to tenant applicants, if you assume that the applicant is lying, more often than not you'll be right.

In addition to assuming that all applicants are lying, I also judge a tenant by their looks, mannerisms, and the words they use. If they've got a lot of tattoes, especially on their face, neck, and hands, I assume that they're a druggie. If they've got such baggy pants that they need one hand to hold them up, I assume that they're a druggie in training. If the applicant carefully chooses their words, I assume that they're trying to shade the truth (lie). If an applicant pauses when asked if they've been evicted or stumbles when asked about their criminal record, I assume that they're trying to hide the truth.

Using these simple clues and a little common sense, I'm able to pick out about 95% of the scumbags before I ever do a screening. However, there is always a very small percentage of the population that are such practiced liars, that they slip past my initial meeting with them. Such was the case of a young family that I met a couple of days ago. They looked at the 2 bedroom apartment I just got back from a mental patient turned druggie that voluntarily left in lieu of being evicted. They were in their 20's with a young baby. I didn't see any tattoes or inappropriate piercings. They answered all my questions immediately and confidently. They filled out an application and said that they would take the apartment. I was very comfortable that they would pass the screening and move into the apartment in the next couple of days.

THEY FOOLED ME! I always start my screenings with a check of the local municipal court website. With barely a single mouse click, the extent of their lies became blatantly obvious! They had just been evicted in late 2008 and the husband (shack up boy friend) had been arrested at least 3 times in the past year! That was all I needed to see and I stopped the screening. Needless to say, I'm not renting an apartment to lying scumbags like that!

The moral of the story is no matter how nice and upstanding a person seems - you've got to screen them!