How to identify, the six characteristics of losers?
While I believe most people can decide and commit to making a change to improve their present condition in life, such a decision can only happen if the individual has the courage to view himself/herself in the proper light.
This is almost impossible for a loser to do, because by definition: losers like to blame others, external circumstances, and unusual situations for their lack of success. They almost never take responsibility to self reflect and regain control over their lives.
Remember that losers, in general, like to hang around, protect, and defend other losers. It’s a whole community out there so you have to watch out!
I wrote a quick synopsis on the common characteristics of losers in this article. This is not an encompassing list. I actually hope you can add to it in the comment lines below from your own experiences.
If you recognize any of the six characteristics mentioned below in any of the people that are around you, then you may want to take the proper measures to disconnect from them diplomatically before their incompetence rubs off on different areas of your life.
So here is the shortlist to identify the losers based on their style, behavior, and results. They are usually:
1) Unfriendly: Because they are frustrated by their own lack of results due to their “unconscious incompetence” and if they temporarily put a social front with smiles and forced humor to act nice, they quickly seem drained and exhausted because it is not their emotional habit to be pleasant over any period of time. Being negative and unfriendly is their self-defense mechanism and their comfort zone.
2) Inaccurate: When they tell you a story, they add some drama; they fabricate facts, change the details, and insist on convincing you that others mistreated them in almost every situation. They have plenty of excuses for their low performance. It is almost always someone else fault and they constantly blame others for their mistakes. They like to present themselves as victims, abused, and misunderstood by others.
3) Incomplete: When sharing information, they usually have a misconception of reality. They speak in generalities and use vague data. They like to omit important information. They say things like: "everyone..”, "they said..." Etc. and they get easily irritated if you question them.
Moreover, they usually like to spread bad news and negative information rather quickly, but when it comes to good news, they almost act as if they did not hear it and they need proof and back up to believe it.
4) Untimely: with their communication. You almost have to beg them for updates, follow-ups, returned phone calls, replies to emails, and so on. Even a simple “hello” as a greeting gets a lag and delayed response time. This is because they are not mentally fully present. Often due to them trying to recover from an overdose of too many drugs, alcohol, or simply a huge meal from the night before!
5) Unsafe: in their actions. They are capable of hurting themselves and you in the process. They are sensitive, defensive, and insecure about themselves, yet offensive and often abrasive with others. This is because they are disorganized, late, unaware, unable, confused, and constantly losing things. They have no priorities and seem overloaded at all times. Any help offered to them is discredited. And any sense of urgency explained to them is resented. They get annoyed easily and get sick (usually with the flu) quite frequently.
6) Ineffective: Whatever projects they are supposed to handle seem to run over budget and end up taking longer in time and effort. This is due to their lack of strategy or system. They usually have no plan and present direction. They simply handle what is coming at them hour by hour on a daily basis in a defensive urgent manner. They seldom write things down and are usually financially broke due to their lack of money management skills and lack of self-control.
How to handle losers?
Once you identify some losers in your environment, resist the temptation of trying to help them or advise them. They may resent you for it and may even fight you covertly for offending them.
Hence, you are much better off disconnecting from them and eliminating them from your environment.
What if you discover that the loser is your spouse, or a close friend, or a family member that you truly must help?
If that’s the case then:
-Start by building a stronger rapport with them and nurture an environment of trust, openness, and respect.
-Choose your timing to have them reflect on their own actions and the results they have gotten so far in their life.
-Ask them the right questions so they can eventually deduce on their own that they need help.
-Finally and hopefully they will commit to the endless journey of self-improvement.
In conclusion:
Choose wisely whom you associate with because sooner or later they will impact your life either positively or negatively.
Wishing you much success
Cherif Medawar
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