How to Find a Mentor (Hint, don't ask someone to be your mentor!)

Across the BP Forums, I frequently see new investors looking to find a mentor. I see posts asking others how to find one and some people even go as far as asking outright in the title of the post for someone to be there mentor. Since this is such a popular topic (and since I've been able to find a mentor who has helped me tremendously), I wanted to share my experience and thoughts on the subject. 

How I found my mentor

About a year and a half ago I was at my local RE meetup and the guy who runs the group introduced an experienced investor in the room who needed help with his business and was willing to share his knowledge with newer investors who would be willing to help him. Of course half the room flocked over to him afterwards and he explained that he was organizing all of the paper work pertaining to the RE projects he had done over the years so that he could give it to friends/colleagues that wanted to invest so that they'd have real life examples of everything that goes into investing. Simply put, he was creating a RE investing manual. 

Here was an opportunity for me (and everyone in the room) to see firsthand how someone had built a RE business worth 10s of millions of dollars. All that I had to do was help him with a simple project. So he gave everyone who was interested his phone number (about 15 people). Out of all those individuals only myself and one other person called him. The other guy helped him for one week and then gave up. I continued to assist him for months without pay (what I was learning was invaluable anyways) and was told by several friends that I was wasting my time. To me it was clear I was not, this was a guy who had done every RE move you could think of from flipping land/houses, buying foreclosures, tax lien investing, building apartments, buying apartments, syndications, sub-developments, buying/selling storage facilities, commercial strip mall developments, and so on. 

After approximately 8 months of helping him I'd earned his trust and we'd become friends so he began to involve me in his business and I started to make money along with the education. He also introduced me to many of his investor friends who also began to involve me in their businesses (and help me learn). I now have a steady stream of income coming from my RE business (aside from my rental income) and am putting together large projects with their help. Additionally, since I've built his trust, he's now willing to finance any project (that makes sense) for me and I have a group of 4 investors who have been in the business for 4+ decades who are happy to offer me their advice at anytime. Everybody who was at that RE meetup last year had the same opportunity that I did, yet none of them took advantage of it because they had a short-term, transactional mindset. Many of them still attend the meetup and have not taken action of any kind. They're the same people that continually talk about how they can't find deals, don't have money for investing, and don't have time. 

Think about it from the other person's point of view, why should they mentor you?

The point(s) of the aforementioned anecdote is that you have to provide value to the person, you need to take a long-term approach and focus on building a relationship with the person, and you need to take action and follow their advice! All too often, inexperienced investors ask somebody who is successful in RE to be their mentor without considering the others person's point of view or thinking through what they're really asking. Asking someone to be your mentor (without having anything to give in return) is requesting that someone take the time and effort to teach you everything they've learned for free with nothing in return. If you've spent 20 years learning RE and building a successful business, how apt do you think you will be to (for free) share everything you've worked hard to learn with a new investor who has put in no effort to learn themselves? Probably not very. When put in perspective, it seems absurd, yet people constantly ask successful investors to mentor them in this manner. 

Now, let's look at a different approach. If you're a RE investor with a thriving business and a new investor comes to you and asks "I want to learn from you, can I door knock foreclosures (for free) to find you leads in return" they may be far more inclined to help you learn. The key is to offer them value in some way shape or form! Don't go to them with a vague proposal and say "can I help you with your business". By doing that you've just created work for them. You're asking them to figure out a job for you and to take time and effort to fit you into their business. You need to think through your skills and figure out how you could utilize your knowledge to help them in their business before approaching them. I was lucky in that my mentor advertised what he needed help with, this may not be the case for you so figure out where the individual you want to work with needs help in his/her business and offer to do so!

Take their Advice!

If you're lucky enough to get help/advice from a successful investor be sure to do what they tell you! Few things are more irritating than someone who comes to you for advice and then does not follow it or makes excuses as to why they can't do it. If you happen to find a mentor and you don't follow their instruction, the relationship will not last long.

The takeaway here is that if you want a successful investor to share what they know with you, you need to find a way to offer them significant value. Do not simply approach them and ask that they "be your mentor". You need to build a relationship with the person, make it worth their time, and follow their advice by taking action!