Do unto others as you would have done unto you

Interesting title yes?  Did you ever really think about what it means? Let me paint a picture for you. 

Recently, I have been pitching a property that was off market. This property came to my attention after a lengthy conversation with the owner of the property during a meeting to discuss his participation in a charity event.  He mentioned he wanted to sell his business and I asked a few questions about it to which he answered all my questions. I also asked him if he had it currently listed or was working with anyone to which he said no. I did not want to push for a contract since that is not what I was there for. Instead, I told him I would pitch it at my meetings and see what I could find.

I learned today that this person WAS working with someone to sell his business.  To make a long story short, I got a call from someone who was rather upset and, as he asked me about the property that I had just pitched at a REIA luncheon, it became glaringly evident that he was also working with this owner!  After some additional conversation it turns out that the individual knows the person well and had been after him for quite some time. Once I knew this I also knew that this was no longer a property I could pitch nor had any rights to pursue. 

Above all else, I pride my integrity and honesty and will always do the right thing. It was ingrained in me for 30+ years and I never stopped to consider that there was any other way to conduct myself. So, I stepped away from this and let the individual know that I was out of the deal and if I had anyone contact me about it, I would immediately contact him. 

So what about the business owner? Was he being dishonest? Was he intentionally misleading me? In truth, I don't know. You see, he did not sign any contract agreement with the aforementioned fellow. And this person stated as such. Since this was being done quietly on the side I would opine that the business owner saw nothing wrong with talking to me about it and telling me that if I found a buyer he would pay my commission. Since I had no contract, I also understood that I could not divulge who the person was nor where the exact location was but just the area and general information. If someone showed an interest, I would call the business owner up and set up a meeting between them. 

Unfortunately, when the gentleman called me about this property, he ASSUMED that I was working a back door deal and stealing this from him. I get it, there are those out there who truly lack integrity and will do anything to make a buck. I've dealt with those types since becoming a Realtor and Investor. However, I will never question your integrity unless you give me reason to do so. I guess I'm too naïve and truly believe that most people are honest. I don't approach people with cynicism so I expect the same when I am approached. This was definitely not the case with this incident. 

What made it worse was the fact that this individual then decided to assume that because I was new to real estate I didn't know what I was doing. Sure, there is a lot I still have to learn but to assume that someone is incompetent without knowing their background? Luckily for him, I kept my former Infantry Non-Commissioned Officer personality locked away and instead provided concise answers to his questions even though I really did not need to do so. Unfortunately, it wasn't until I told him politely not to assume that I didn't know what I was doing before he finally dropped it. I think had he pursued it any further Sergeant Aki would have been let loose and NOBODY wants that!

So ask yourself this question, how do you treat people? Do you see the world through rose colored glasses or is everyone out to get you and screw you over? Do you immediately judge a person when you see them? If you said no you are not being honest with yourself. We all do it, we don't intend to but it is how we were brought up. We learn it from our parents, our friends, our teachers, the news and the list goes on. The question really is not, do you immediately judge someone but, do you consciously stop yourself before you continue. 

Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself. Do you think the person that called me about the property abided by this simple yet powerful saying? We may not all believe that everyone is a good person but our success in life and in business is directly impacted by how we treat others. The real estate industry is especially sensitive to this fact as we tend to live and breath by referrals and our reputation. So the next time you think that someone is trying to screw you over, take a step back, take a breath, exhale slowly and give them the benefit of the doubt. Take the time to understand the situation and try not to rush to judgement. Now, if you find out that the individual is truly of disreputable character, well, all bets are off then!