How to get what you want out of life

As we wrap up 2018, spending time with family and friends, it's a good time to reassess our lives and decide what we want to achieve in 2019 and beyond. Here's a number of things you can do to actually get what you want out of life:

Take time to reflect

Time to unplug, remove distractions, and spend some quality time with yourself. Get away from it all if you need to. Take a long weekend in the mountains to soul search. Reflect on your failures and successes over the past year. Are you where you want to be? Did you achieve your goals? If not, why? Try to learn as much as you can from failure. Actually, let's stop calling it failure. I prefer 'learning experience'.

Set your own specific goals

Decide what it is you truly want out of life. Don't lie to yourself. Stop desiring what other people, such as your parents or society, desire for you and start desiring what you want for you. I'm not saying everyone needs to want to climb Mt. Everest. Maybe you just want to live on the beach with your family and enjoy yourself. Great, set that as your goal. Make your goals very specific. Broad and ambiguous goals are difficult to reach. I've found myself struggling with goals that are not well-defined. For instance, in 2017 I set a goal to get in shape but when it came to actually working towards that goal, I exercised inconsistently and didn't stick to a program that yielded real results. However, when I set a goal to run a half marathon in an hour and 40 minutes, I had a specific goal that I could track my progress against. Overall, I had much more success with that goal.

Take responsibility for your life

Do you believe that if you hope and pray enough, you can sit back and your dreams will come true? Or maybe you believe that the government, your parents, or society is responsible for your success or failure. Time to rethink that mindset. It takes hard work and dedication to get what you want - just hoping that your ideal life will be given to you will surely leave you disappointed. In 2019, let's stop blaming others for our failures and start taking control.

Stop caring what people think

If you have big goals people will try to undermine you. It's a fact. But who cares. Let them say what they want and go achieve whatever you're working towards. If you don't have people who don't like you, your goals aren't big enough. Do you want people to like you more than you want to live the life you want? Make it a goal in 2019 to stop people pleasing and caring what people think of you.

Stop loving comfort

It's great to kick back, relax, and enjoy time with family and friends but that's not the type of comfort I'm talking about. The love of comfort I'm referring to is contentment with your place in life. You will always struggle if this is your mindset. Have you given up on your business aspirations because you've become content with coming home from your 9-5, drinking a bottle of wine, and watching Netflix? This is what mediocre people do everyday and if you model their behavior, you'll become exactly like them. Instead of laying on the couch all night, spend an hour to learn a new skill that will get you closer to your career ambitions or go to the gym to lose that weight you've been wanting to shed.

Stop feeling guilty for your needs and desires

Many of us have been taught that we're selfish because we want something. People that tell you things like this are mediocre and jealous of your success. If you believe it's bad to have desires, it will ruin you. Want a good-looking spouse? Awesome. Want to travel the world? Great. Want to give back to the community? Sweet. Stop feeling guilty for what you want for your life and make it happen. Your goals and dreams are essential to your life satisfaction. Go get what you want.

Stop hanging around mediocre, negative, and overly-critical people

Stop hanging with people that don't support your goals. Mediocre people will get jealous when you start rising above them. They'll connive, manipulate, backstab, bully, and dump negativity on you. Or maybe you have people telling you you're doing too much, you're trying too hard, or my all time favorite, "you should just enjoy your life." Negative and overly-critical people should also be avoided. They'll doubt everything you do and try to bully you. Cut these people out and find like-minded friends that provide constructive feedback and want to see you grow. As the old adage goes "you're the average of the 5 people you interact with the most."

Stop being afraid of everything

Are you afraid to lose your job, relationship, or house? Afraid of failure, ridicule, or isolation? Or maybe you're afraid the economy will tank and your 401(k) will take a hit. The list of fears is endless. Being fearful will continue to plague you throughout your days. It keeps you afraid of taking risks and pursuing your dreams. Push through these fears. Start with baby steps. You'll get there.

Take Risks

Want to be on your deathbed regretting the opportunities you let slip away? Then don't take risks. However, if you want to get what you want in life, you need to take risks. You need to put yourself out there and not be afraid. You will fail at times but view it as a learning experience. Been dreaming of moving out west to start a new life and career? Just do it. No risk, no reward.

Push through self-limiting beliefs

Did your dad say you wouldn't amount to anything? Did your friend say you were lazy? Did your teacher say you were dumb? Do you believe you don't deserve success? Do you often doubt yourself when you start working towards a goal? Time to move on and stop believing the lies you were told. Beliefs like these hold you back and keep you from getting what you want. Maybe you even self-sabotage. For instance, say you're interviewing for a new job that pays well but deep down, you're holding on to a belief that you're a failure, so you start unconsciously fumbling the interview because you think that's what's supposed to happen. Stop holding on to self-limiting beliefs, trust yourself, and stop self-sabotaging.

Value yourself

Do you think you're not deserving of success? Everyone deserves to achieve what they want. What do you bring to the table? Are you great with people? Are you an amazing public speaker? Do you get complimented on your intelligence? Figure out what special skills, talents, and knowledge you have and bring it to the world.

Conclusion

Enjoy the process as you work towards your goals. Don't feel inadequate because you have yet to achieve them. The journey can be just as fun as the results. Do not give up on your goals. Make 2019 your year.