How I Make Allies Out of Enemies

[Austin Hughes]

Quite honestly, I have no clue how I do it, but I do. I make people who think they hate me, at least like me. There was an investor who, just last month, called me for no reason and cussed me out over the phone, then hung up. He didn't know who I was at the time. Tonight, he just called very meekly to apologize for disturbing me earlier on when his phone spammed me with calls. He started talking about his journey and said I could call him with anything I needed.

Yesterday, as I do with everyone who calls me, I followed up with a gentleman who didn't leave a voicemail. Turns out he was the head hancho down at the city ordinances office and he was ready to rip me a new one using the signs of mine he kept picking up. We are scheduled for a friendly lunch on Monday to get to know each other... after he gets back from vacation at the lake with his "better half." His tone went from indignant officer to long time friend in just a 10 minute call.

Some of my past stories: Making friends with the head of University (most hated) parking who ordered my car to be towed.. to where he now invites me over during work hours and buys me food at sporting events. Getting the lawyer on my property's tax case to go from giving me MAJOR attitude, to (joyfully) taking special efforts to extend the upcoming foreclosure date until I can close on the property, whenever that is.

I'm hoping by writing it out in this forum post, I will think more intently on it, and be able to produce results like these more regularly!

I think it comes from the fact that no matter what, I act naïve in the sense that I come across as having goodwill for whoever I'm talking to. I hold my tongue, that's for sure. I saw the investor in person 2 days ago (he didn't know I was the one he cussed out) in a social setting, and I could've REALLY paid him back by casually mentioning that in front of everyone. Instead, I just didn't talk, and we became friends today--he's a very valuable contact to have in my market.

With the case of the head of parking services, I just determined in my mind that I'd put myself in his shoes for a couple minutes. I thought of how at every Carol of the Lights he gets booed by thousands of people, while the other services on campus get cheered. I empathized with him, and in return, he empathized with me.

I may have pulled a trick on the lady who's the foreclosure attorney. The first time we spoke, she was very rude to me, but I could tell she was just stressed. The next time we talked, I asked for her specifically, and when she answered, I said, "Hey, you were such a huge help to me last time I called in. I just wanted to say thank you!" She probably assumed she had been nice to me, so she was extra nice this time! :)

And lastly, in the case of the city ordinances official, I think he is used to dealing with jerks all day, that my attitude was refreshing. I admitted to my doings, and told him I was really glad I got in touch with him, because I'd been calling around for 2 months trying to figure out what I could/couldn't do with my signs. I really took on a learner mindset (naïve) and he was happy to inform me of the rules. He  was also MUCH more friendly because I was open to his suggestions and not resisting them.

Anyways, that's a shotgun of thoughts, but I think it's helped me. Maybe it'll help one of you Grinches make friends! :)