Extreme Anxiety While RE Investing - It Will Be Okay

[Soniel Estime]

What a year!

I wonder if any seasoned investors have had extreme anxiety after buying a deal other than their first deal.

As some may know, my first deal was a complete gut rehab duplex that put me through the wringer. If you haven't had a chance to read my previous post a few years back, check it out (1st Bad Deal Gone Good.) From contractors screwing me over to constantly failed inspections to fines from the city, let's say If life was a video game, I leveled up by 20 levels on my first deal and had to use two lives to do it. But, overall, my first deal turned out very profitable in more ways than monetarily.

After seeing success on my first deal, I thought my emotional fortitude and confidence would be extremely high going into the next deal. Oh boy, was I wrong. After months of combing through real estate deals, I found what I had set out for ever since the start of my investment journey. I found a beautiful brick 4-unit building waiting for me to House Hack it. Fast forward through analyzing and negotiations, I closed on the deal last year. The numbers were solid, and it was in an appreciating area. So you'd think I would be super excited during my closing, right? Wrong; after I signed, I was hit with some of the worst anxiety of my life. The realization that I now will have three families counting on me, the potential liability, the cost to do business, and the risk of everything falling apart hit me like a ton of bricks (Pun Intended.)

This anxiety lasted for months. I never expected to have these feelings because my last deal was a full gut rehab, and I survived that. Here I am with a building that needs a few updates and minor repairs, it already had 2 section 8 tenants, and I put a property management company in place. I even factored in the most significant expense in my 203K loan, which was the roof and some tuck pointing; what was I so worried about? I believe the difficulty of my last deal left me with some PTSD. I would imagine the building bursting into flames or having a major flood, or the building literally just crumpling to the ground as soon as I look away or am gone for more than two weeks.

After owning the property for a year, I realized how silly I was being. Don't get me wrong, there were some difficulties with this property, like updating the unit I was living in (always the most trashed one) and controlling costs, but nothing I couldn't handle. The property is currently fully occupied, and the profits have increased from filling vacancies, rent increases, and reducing costs such as the water bill by fixing leaks. My tenants know I'm the owner and understand they need to ask the property manager for anything that needs repairs in their unit. I cut the grass occasionally, but I am very hands-off with this property even though I live there.

I wanted to share this story to help newer investors know that it is okay and normal to feel anxious even on your 2nd or 3rd deal. Having courage means being afraid and doing something anyway. Also, know that even when things are tough, keep pushing through until you get to the light at the end of the tunnel. Risk is uncomfortable, but most things in life that are worth having come with risk. Get comfortable being uncomfortable and keep fighting for your "WHY!" If you don't want to take my word for it, let's ask a few more seasoned investors and see their responses.

Is what I experienced normal for my 2nd real estate deal? How many other investors have gone through this? Will it happen in more of my future RE deals? What can a somewhat newer investor do to overcome the emotional roller coaster that comes with investing in RE?

[Jim K.]

@Soniel Estime

This is a hell of a topic, and kudos to you for seriously considering the advice you're getting.

I've been in the game for about seventeen years, but really only full-bore into our niche, C-class rentals in single-family and duplexes in a decent part of my city, since 2015. The decent part used to be a not-so-nice part, and I would have characterized our rentals as C-. That's really no longer possible, and it's not thanks to me that the neighborhoods we've invested in have improved as much as it has.

I followed my curiosity in 2022 and bought a 7-unit apartment building. That building has driven me nuts since I bought it. The money we've lost in it has been extraordinary, but a year and some later, the property has been stabilized and is producing. GETTING it stable was a nightmare. I had to repair and remodel almost all the apartments. I only have two of the original five tenants left in the building. My entire business model for renting apartments was centered around FB Marketplace, that had to change.

I had very good reserves going into the deal, but for a building that cost $480K, I had to sink at least $50K more in materials, labor, legal costs, at least $40K on top of that in lost rent revenues. It's going to be a long time before I see that money again.

Now, though, I know what I'm doing. So I would say your experience is pretty normal whenever you make a big jump. It will probably happen again. And as far as your last question goes, dealing with the emotional roller coaster -- I still don't have a good answer to that. I think that good answer will involve a lot of honest discussions about grief, however. Sadness over losing money, sadness over making a bad deal, sadness over putting yourself in a bad situation -- it's all grief, in one form or another, and too many of us simply don't want to see it that way.