Had some fun with a neighbor today .

[Matthew Paul]

I was sitting in the house , relaxing and someone is pounding on my door . I go answer it , its my neighbor all riled up .  ( he is 40 years old computer guy that works for the government )   I ask whats up ?   He is all  excited " THERE IS A BIG SNAKE IN MY HOUSE "    I look at him and say " Thats nice when did you get a snake? "   " No Damn it , its a real big wild snake sitting in my window sill "    I ask if he called animal control    " they are closed till Monday , and the police dont kill snakes ' .   Now I am trying real hard not to bust out laughing .    So I ask what he wants me to do ?   " You are an outside guy Kill the damn thing " .   So I go over with my 2 boys , one is 12 and the other is 9 .   Yup he has a little 3 ft black snake in his window sill .  

       So he asks " can you kill it ? "     Sure , not a problem , I look at my oldest and said , " Son , go grab my shotgun and 4 shells . And I look at my neighbor , I can blow this baby away , but I will take out the window , and put a couple big holes in the wall .  Or I have another solution . He asks , whats that ?    Lets try this , I walk over , reach out and grab the snake behind the head .   

Now I am holding the snake I motion towards him and he runs out of the house , cussing me while I am busting out laughing . My 9 year old son asks if he can have the snake .  Sure , so I give him the snake and tell him to take it outside and dont play with it too long .  Then let it loose .

My neighbor is going nuts , I am laughing , and thinks my kid is in danger . My kid says  " Mr Smith , this is a baby black snake I have caught 4 already this spring , they are harmless . 

He says thanks and then says " You HAD to screw with me didnt you ?       Yup " cant let a good opportunity go to waste . 

Then I asked my kid to turn the snake over , I tell him its only a female .  And as I walk across the front yard I tell him its  spring , the mate always stays close and they are bigger .