Downstairs neighbor complaining about my 2 year old kid noise

[Marcin O.]

2 months ago we moved in into 2 story apartment complex. We asked for first floor because of our toddler son, but realtor and leasing agent only offered us 2nd floor, and affirmed us that kids were not an issue.

After about 3 weeks after moving in my downstairs neighbor made a suggestion about considering others living below me. That took me completely by surprise, because we're very quiet, with no visitors, late night parties, hell, I didn't even hook up my speaker system just not to make any noise. I responded that apart from my kid running occasionally we weren't making any noises and I had no idea what he was talking about.

Fast forward to last weeked, his lady came over complaining about my kid running and that it was driving them crazy. I apologized and we ended it at that. Last Monday, around 7:30 AM my kid was playing and running like usual, but this time they started banging on the ceiling really hard, and after few minutes he run upstairs and started banging on my door. When I opened he started yelling about putting up with this ********, to which I replied what bs. He yelled that I should control my kid, that I was a grown man, after that he heard not to tell me how to raise my kid. I told him my son was 2 years old, and he had a right to play, to run, that he had a right to be a kid. He responded with threats, that I didn't want to be on his bad side, and next time he had to come up, it wouldn't be so pretty. And he also made up claim that I was making a noise too. I responded that next time he came up, I was calling the cops. I told him we were done and closed the doors.

After that confrontation I called leasing office and complained about him banging on ceiling and making threats, to what lady responded with "ok, bye". I also called police department to report harassment and threats. They dispatched officer, he told me that downstairs neighbors called about the noise, but they wouldn't dispatch anyone. He said that noise is part of the apartment living and that I wasn't doing anything wrong. Then he went to talk to them. That was the end on Monday.

Today my wife called main office that owns apartments, they took our number and promised to investigate, but also made a statement that kid shouldn't be running in apartment.

Some additional info, we live in NY, in Dutchess County. My son is 2 years old, so terrible 2, there's no reasoning with him, no controlling him, he won't listen, he probably won't understand at that age, he has a mind of his own, he wants to do things his way. He sleeps all night, wakes up around 7-7:30AM, he's in bed by 8PM, so absolutely no noise at night. Normally he's in daycare from 7AM until about 5PM, but right now we're during Covid-19 lockdown, his daycare is closed. My wife is essential worker, so she leaves home every day, I work from home and I have to keep an eye on the kid too.

Our apartment has carpets in bedroom and living room, with foam padding underneath, but the building construction is really poor and cheap, and when kid is running on carpet, walls do vibrate.

Neighbor downstairs apparently has had a history of complaining and banging on people's doors in the past. He's and old, grumpy guy. I'm not willing to work with him on any issues anymore, he lost that option when he banged on my door trying to tell me how to raise my son. What kind of human being calls cops on a 2 year old?

My question is, can landlords legally prevent my kid from running inside? Or from making any noises for that matter? From the research that I've done so far, Fair Housing Act prevents landlords from making any rules targeting kids, except when it involves kids safety, like no unsupervised kids in the pool, etc., and that courts have repeatedly ruled against landlords in such cases. Is landlord discriminating against my kid when they say he cannot run inside apartment? Can I expect landlord to notify downstairs neighbors to stop harassing me and discriminating against my kid? Should I explore taking legal action against both landlord and neighbor? Should I try to get order of protection if he keeps harassing me? Should I even open the door if he comes banging again?

Thanks in advance for any guidance.

[Sai T.]

Wow 

If I were you I would have avoided direct talk with downstairs tenant. I think It’s too late for patch up. 

If you have a lot of time and money 💰 then sue them but I would not recommend suing and making things more worse. Living happily is more important than fighting.

[Todd Rasmussen]

@Marcin O.

I'd get a brochure or two for senior living facilities nearby and hand them to him if he came knocking again. That's probably needlessly confrontational, but I'd fight an old guy as a repercussion for making that joke.

But seriously:

I don't think you have anything to worry about with your kid being a kid. There is a reasonableness test you need to pass, but so far it sounds okay. If the property manager reaches out to you, I'd just respond that you'd be happy to move to a downstairs unit as originally requested. If the old guy shows up at your door, just keep it shut and call the police and your property manager if he disturbs your peaceful enjoyment. A child playing is reasonable. A neighbor banging on your door is not.

For now, I'd say that was enough, but you should also keep a log. Dates and times you call the property manager, the main office, interact with your neighbor or the police. If you do need to take a legal step, you'll want a record of who what when.

Good luck!

[Marcin O.]

Thanks for quick replays. I do keep a log, I also installed camera inside in case he comes back. I had it when he showed up last time but it was set to only record motion, so it didn’t capture anything. It’s set to record 24/7 now.

I’m also afraid he might be making up stories about me or my wife making noises, but I guess camera recordings should be enough to disprove that.

[Samir Smith]

I am in same situation as you. We moved in just week and my son is 2years. Downstairs tenant bang the ceiling every time my son plays or jumps. He is banging on my ceiling constantly. My son only plays in living room. We even don’t allow him to go to bedroom until he sleeps because they told us not make noise in bedroom. This is being ridiculous.  We are trying our best to keep him calm. But you know the 2 years kids, they don’t listen.This is kind of living in fear.I complained to my landlord and he is supportive and he said it is your apartment you have right to do anything. I wish these people would understand. Please let me know if anyone has any solutions.

[Alex Marz]

I would loose tenants and money if everybody with two year old's rented above them. The noise can be very aggravating. It is very cruel to send senior tenants pamphlets to old people's homes also. Why do you not say, "I am sorry. The next time I will look for an apartment with no one living below me and my child." and mean it. Do you really not care about others entitled to live in peace? Shame on you all! I am glad you are not my inconsiderate tenants.

[Mike Kufner]

 7am is early for a child to be running around above your head while your trying to sleep. Have you considered that YOU actually are being inconsiderate? Maybe keep him out of the bedrooms and give him a puzzle or coloring books (or any other quiet activity until around 9am. People with kids are the worst neighbors to have in an apartment and it is very loud and grating to hear boom boom boom boom back and forth, back and forth all day long. Imagine the amount noise if the shoe was on the other foot. What you hear is a very small fraction of noise compared to that of your neighbor. Those are also the types of noises a sound machine or even a loud window ac won't be able to cover up and wearing ear plugs is just not cool, your neighbor is also paying rent.. I wish people would sack up and control their children. This is becoming more of an issue now a days because people can't or won't control their kids. When I was little we lived in a house and my parents would punish us for running, and we didnt even live in an apartment. That is an outside activity, not an indoor one just like playing with balls. I'm sorry but I have to side with your neighbor. The cops aren't going to do anything and the apartment will probably take your neighbors side. At the very worst your neighbor can take you to small claims court for noise issues, I'm sure the noise is above normal decibel ranges and your neighbor can get decibel recordings or other recordings of what they are dealing with.

I have a 3 year old and he never runs or plays with balls in the house. I suppose I'm just a good parent because I know how to handle my child. When I was younger,  before kids I had a neighbor like you before and yes its the worst. I wouldn't want to impose that type of torture on my worst enemy let alone a neighbor, so I have talks with my kid. Your child will understand if you explain it to him in a child friendly way and keep reminding him or her.  take control of your child and be more considerate of your neighbor.  If you want to allow your child to run, you should have moved to another apartment on the first floor. You can always go to the park or anywhere outside to have him run off some energy. I'm sure thats too much work for your type.

Apartment communities have quiet hours. You should  abide by those at the VERY least. 

[Shahidah Kalalm Id-Din]

I think the above suggestions about "controlling your child" is ridiculous. Every child is different. Some will do what you say with little resistance others will not. It does not mean you are a bad parent or that your child is bad. Also, many parents deal with children on the spectrum or with other emotional or physical issues that cause noise. This is not anyone's fault. It's simply a reality that some parents are living with and have to live in all kinds of living situations, like apartment buildings. A child with epilepsy or autism may have episodes that will cause noises on the floor. The frequency is specific to the child and condition. On the other hand, maybe the neighbor w/out children has trouble sleeping and sleeps at odd times of the day and it coincides with the the toddler playing time. No one knows what their neighbor is dealing with. 

Thus, I encourage everyone in the situation to give each other grace and do what they can to help the situation. I have children, ages two and three, and one is on the spectrum. I had a similar situation with my neighbor. Here is what I did: I got a carpet and a trampoline for them to jump on so as to minimize jumping on the floor. I also have a gym mat in the living room in addition to the rug. I abide by the quiet hours religiously. I also put grip socks or slippers on them to also minimize noise, and yes, I apologize for any noise that may occur. Still, there were times when my daughter on the spectrum would have an episode or my other daughter would run. In these moments, the neighbor was unforgiving and would come to my home, bang on the door, etc. When the neighbor threatened me and my toddlers and ended with, "This is war." I let the leasing office know. They handled the situation, and I have not heard from that neighbor again. 

Advise for those neighbors who can't tolerate any noise: 1. Share w/leasing office; the leasing office should get involved with brainstorming ideas for parents w/toddler AND setting boundaries for those who are receiving the noise.

2. Share appropriately with neighbors focusing on a reasonable workaround, 

3. Give grace and be patient

4. Neighbor with hears a noise: Do what you can on, like use ear plugs or soundless headphones or even insulate your ceiling (home depot folks can be a great resource for this situation).

These kinds of situation require all hands on deck, and everyone involved has to be willing to resolve the issues together, knowing that nothing will be 100% because you live in a community w/others. 

With sincerity and love, mother of two toddlers

[Chris Seveney]

This post should win most condescending and dumbest post of the year

Yes everyone on BP should judge and comment someone’s parenting from a BP post

OMG my kid plays at 7 am he is an awful child and parents who allow that are awful…

To the original poster - not your problem, tell them to call the landlord, that is who they have An agreement with as you do. You have no contractual agreement with them.

[Kamaldine Jolie]

Quote from @Samir Smith:

I am in same situation as you. We moved in just week and my son is 2years. Downstairs tenant bang the ceiling every time my son plays or jumps. He is banging on my ceiling constantly. My son only plays in living room. We even don’t allow him to go to bedroom until he sleeps because they told us not make noise in bedroom. This is being ridiculous.  We are trying our best to keep him calm. But you know the 2 years kids, they don’t listen.This is kind of living in fear.I complained to my landlord and he is supportive and he said it is your apartment you have right to do anything. I wish these people would understand. Please let me know if anyone has any solutions.

Take consideration for the other tenants as well ,they pay rent and they have right to quiet enjoyment of the premises. Your landlord cannot tell you "you have right to do anything in that apartment.  He's supporting you to these UNLAWFUL CONDUCT instead of him telling you to stop your NUISANCE/DISTURBANCES. You both could get sue, that's the other tenant right period.

[Matthew Paul]

A 2 year old making noise , surely you jest .

[Chris Seveney]

@Marcin O.

Not an attorney but you have right use apartment in what is deemed normal way

If you put a trampoline or something in the apartment (which I have seen) that would be problematic but a 2 year old doing what a 2 year old is not your problem.

What I would tell grumpy old man is sorry but we asked for a first floor unit and the property manager is not responsive so take it up with them on finding you a new unit