What's Your Tenant Horror Story?

[Brandon Turner]

Years ago, I had a tenant who's toilet got plugged - but they continued to use it until it overflowed on a weekend and I was the only maintenance guy we had. It was the last toilet I ever worked on... and probably the worst experience of my life!

What's your worst tenant horror story? And what did you learn from that?

[Rob K.]

One time in the late 90's, I was enjoying a nice Saturday morning on my computer and drinking coffee. I got a call from a really good tenant that there was a problem with the house. The house was a two bedroom ranch on a crawl space. The furnace was old AND in the crawl space. (Note to all - don't buy a house with the furnace in the crawl unless you're getting a super deal).

My tenant went on to say that the furnace was making a "gurgling" sound and the entire house was filled with steam like a sauna. I told him to go outside and look into the crawl space. He did just that and told me it was full of "water".

I drove to the house, making up new swear words along the way. When I got there, I made a B-line (whatever that is) to the crawl space door. When I looked in, the entire crawl space had at least eight inches of some type of fluid. Just then, I heard the toilet flush and could see it all bubbling up into the crawl. This is when my morning went from bad to worse. The crawl space was full of human S#@*.

I called my plumber and he said he would be right over. I've been using this guy for 15+ years and he LOVES to work. I once called him at 8am on a Sunday that I had a problem with a house and he was there by 8:30. (No, you can not have his number).

This next paragraph is all alleged speculation.

A guy that looks like me went to a place that rents pumps. He rented a two inch pump with hose and purchased some thick rubber gloves that cost $12. He then took the pump to the house and pumped all of that feces into the street.

Once the sewage was evacuated from the crawl space, the plumber found two problems. #1 - The sewer line was full of tree roots. #2 - Some mental midget had placed a homemade wooden cap on the cleanout next to the main stack. Had they used the regular kind that screws in, all of that sewage would have backed up into the bathtub and I would've gotten a call right away and avoided the entire crawl space fiasco.

A couple of funny things happened that day. The plumber was going to the store to buy some stuff and wanted me to hand him the cap so he could use it to size the proper one. I was still wearing the $12 industrial gloves and he reached out with a bare hand to grab it. I told him it was covered in (expletive). He replied, "That's ok. I'm not having lunch for a while." The other funny thing that happened is when I was allegedly returning the pump, there was a guy at the rental place renting a 32 foot ladder. The worker asked him if he had a vehicle big enough to handle it. He relpied, "I've got a Dodge Neon. It will be fine."

A couple years later, I had tree roots in a sewer at the house that I used to live in. I called the plumber out to fix it. I wasn't home, but my wife was. He was thirsty and she gave him a glass of water. When I found that out, I made sure that she threw that glass right into the trash.