Shocked! My tenants invited me to their wedding! Response??

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Shocked! My tenants invited me to their wedding! Response??

Mike B.
Flipper/Rehabber · Yardley, PA · Member since 2015 · 451 posts · 307 votes

Hi all,

Well there's always a first for things and for me, it's being invited to my tenants wedding!  I was totally surprised by this.

They've been in my SFH rental property for nearly 2 years now (and are staying another 2 years), take fantastic care of the property, NEVER have any issues with them etc. At any rate, I will respectfully decline their invite because we genuinely won't be able to attend, but I want to send some type of gift to them. They have a new puppy, I was thinking a small gift card to a Petsmart and also a check for $50 as a wedding gift.

I know, a bit generous by some standards, but feedback on a gift(s) to send to thank them for the invite etc? 

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Pat L.
Rental Property Investor · Upstate, NY · Member since 2012 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
7y

We've had weddings in the backyard of one of our (5acre) properties but declined the invite. 

Not a wedding but some years ago our 'biker' tenants were having a pig roast in the large back yard. The wife wouldn't let me go. But next quarter I had to call the guys about the high water bill & have them check for a leak. But they informed me that it was for the above ground pool they put in for their girls to mud wrestle. I still regret not dropping by for the Pig roast. 

He was always a great tenant & has since purchased the duplex from us.

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  • Joe VilleneuvePro Member
    Plymouth, MI · Member since 2013 · 13k+ posts · 19k+ votes
    7y

    Response?  Bring business cards...to the wedding that is.

    3Reply
  • Matt Nusbaum
    Rental Property Investor · Annapolis, MD · Member since 2011 · 232 posts · 170 votes
    7y

    Hi @Mike B. Wow you must be a great landlord! I'd say your plan is perfect. $$$ is always the favorite gift for newly weds and a small gift to Petsmart adds a personal touch. Wish you were my landlord when I got married lol. 

    2Reply
  • Mike B.
    OP
    Flipper/Rehabber · Yardley, PA · Member since 2015 · 451 posts · 307 votes
    7y
    @Joe Villeneuve lol that’s funny and smart at the same time. They’re in their 20s though so not selling homes. Mixed rental vs purchase stage of their lives I suppose. I am hoping one day I can sell my tenants my SFH rental and do a 1031 with that though. One can dream...
    0Reply
  • Joe VilleneuvePro Member
    Plymouth, MI · Member since 2013 · 13k+ posts · 19k+ votes
    7y
    Originally posted by @Mike B.:
    @Joe Villeneuve lol that’s funny and smart at the same time. They’re in their 20s though so not selling homes. Mixed rental vs purchase stage of their lives I suppose. I am hoping one day I can sell my tenants my SFH rental and do a 1031 with that though. One can dream...

     You're missing my point.  How many of their guests might be renters...or have children that are?

    0Reply
  • Thomas S.
    Member since 2016 · 13k+ posts · 12k+ votes
    7y

    Awkward situation I would hope I am never in. Looks like they are just fishing for gifts unless of course you are much more to them then just their landlord. Awkward.

    0Reply
  • Dennis M.
    Rental Property Investor · Erie, PA · Member since 2018 · 6k+ posts · 9k+ votes
    7y
    I would send them a card and thank them But decline .you don’t want to mix business and personal affairs like in this situation . I would not be buying them anything just wish them well and a thoughtful card . Imagine going to the celebration and buying a gift card for little fee fee only to see them come on hard times , fall behind In rent and you have to evict them for non payment . That would be really ugly and don’t say it can’t ever happen
    2Reply
  • Pat L.
    Rental Property Investor · Upstate, NY · Member since 2012 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    7y

    We've had weddings in the backyard of one of our (5acre) properties but declined the invite. 

    Not a wedding but some years ago our 'biker' tenants were having a pig roast in the large back yard. The wife wouldn't let me go. But next quarter I had to call the guys about the high water bill & have them check for a leak. But they informed me that it was for the above ground pool they put in for their girls to mud wrestle. I still regret not dropping by for the Pig roast. 

    He was always a great tenant & has since purchased the duplex from us.

    5Reply
  • Jake Diamond
    Rental Property Investor · Utica, NY · Member since 2018 · 22 posts · 6 votes
    7y
    @Pat L. Mud wrestle? Haha no wonder your wife said no! Sounds like a good time.
    0Reply
  • Mary M.
    Rental Property Investor · Portland OR · Member since 2018 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    7y

    that is awesome!  Shows you are a good landlord....  I think your idea of a gift card for new puppy is awesome :)

    1Reply
  • Jim K.
    Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
    7y
    Of course they invited you. They want some money out of you for once. They invite everyone they know has some money to these things, and their landlord is an obvious candidate for them. My advice is not to attend and send them the ugliest large-sized oil painting you can find at a starving artists sale, preferably with obvious overtones of sexuality, religion, or dementia. When you go over there you can make a big show of looking around for the painting on their walls and acting offended that they didn't put it up. That'll teach them to try to get a dollar out of their landlord.
    5Reply
  • Nathan GesnerBusiness Member
    Moderator
    Real Estate Broker · Cody, WY · Member since 2010 · 28k+ posts · 41k+ votes
    7y

    I would politely decline. When you get too personal, tenants will start to take advantage of that and attempt to manipulate the relationship in their favor. It may not happen today or tomorrow but it will happen some day.

    I once had a tenant that worked at a restaurant and he offered to give me major discounts every time I ate there. I accepted it the first time but then rejected it after that and plainly told him it wasn't professional to accept gifts from tenants when I'm working for the Landlord because it could create a conflict of interest.

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    4Reply
  • Steve Richardson
    Specialist · Indianapolis, IN · Member since 2018 · 31 posts · 20 votes
    7y
    @Mike B. I wouldn’t attend either. Personally, I like the idea of sending a small gift to them though. It says “you are more to me than just a number.” People like to feel important. That $50 gift may be the difference between them staying another couple years or potentially staying longer OR just purchasing from you in the future. Also, more than likely, they will only get married once. So it’s not like a BDay party or something that will happen every year.
    4Reply
  • Jennifer T.Pro Member
    Investor · New Orleans, LA · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 944 votes
    7y

    When my H and I got married, we had one of our tenants give us a wedding gift.  I was surprised and touched by the thoughtfulness.  They lived on the other side of our personal duplex so, while I wouldn't go quite as far as to call us friends, we did know them better and had a friendlier relationship with them as compared to our other tenants that we didn't share a backyard and porch with!

    If it were me, I'd politely decline the invite.  Then, as it got closer to the wedding, send them a Wedding Congratulations card with a $25 Pet Smart gift card.  I'm a smaller LL and haven't had it happen yet, but would do that for a wedding/birth/ or graduation.  Whether I was invited to an event or not.  But I think an actual check as a gift would be odd and crossing the line between professional and personal.

    The reason I'd opt for a nominal gift is because landlording is a "people" business and getting married is a major milestone in someone's life.   

    1Reply
  • Lance Peachey
    Rental Property Investor · Member since 2018 · 1 post · 1 vote
    7y
    In my opinion a gift is nice, and not a problem if you wanted to attend. It all depends on the relationship. I am a house hacking landlord in a duplex. Living beside our current tenants for 2 years we have developed a friendship. They even came to our wedding. We get them a $50 gift card for Christmas. I do understand the warnings as stated above, but in my personal situation, if they stepped out of line about doing something wrong, or rent was pushing almost late, we told them the rules and how it will be right away and put a stop to it. So far, it has given us a positive response and worked well being on a friendly relationship with them.
    1Reply
  • Steve Vaughan
    Rental Property Investor · East Wenatchee, WA · Member since 2014 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes
    7y

    I've attended two or three tenants weddings over the years and was honored to be invited each time.  I think we brought a $50 or so gift.  

    We didn't go to the receptions and all of them have since bought their own places and we are still friends. I'd go, but not to the reception.

    In a related circumstance, my new renters of my recent BRR invited us to their housewarming/MMA fight night.  My son and I went.  When he introduced me as his LL to his friends and parents, they and at least 3 more looked like they just sucked on a massive pickle.  By the end, we all had a good time and I'd convinced them not all LLs are bad.  Maybe you'll do the same. Don't drink and get stupid whatever you do LOL

    2Reply
  • Mike B.
    OP
    Flipper/Rehabber · Yardley, PA · Member since 2015 · 451 posts · 307 votes
    7y
    @Steve Vaughan sound advice! Thank you everyone for your responses and advice. I already politely declined attending but I agree with some statements above that it’s good business and we (tenants and I) are on a closer interaction platform (I’m usually in the neighborhood, quickly address any issues that come up which are minimal) and potentially in the future they will rent longer or purchase a home from me. So yes, I agree giving a small nominal gift would be good (gift card or small item from their registry vs cash) Thank you again!
    2Reply
  • Anthony Wick
    Rental Property Investor · Ankeny, IA · Member since 2017 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    7y

    I could definitely see myself hanging out and having a beer with several of my tenants. I genuinely like them. But, I don't, and I won't. It's the same reason I will never rent to friends or family. It's just business. Can't be having my judgment clouded or questioned. Hoping I never get invited to anything for my tenants (wedding, baby shower, court). But, I suppose a small gift card with a "thanks for the invite, but we will not be able to attend" note wouldn't be horrible. 

    0Reply
  • Brian Pearcy
    Member since 2018 · 4 posts · 1 vote
    7y

    I would go but not attend the reception. The gift also sounds appropriate.

    1Reply
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