How can I buy the White House?

[Aaron Hunt]

I have a solid job, and I make decent money, and I also have a credit score somewhere above 800. I also know plenty of accredited investors.

This morning, I hop up out my bed, turn my swag on and decided I want to buy the White House. 

How do I get my name on the deed?

[Jim K.]

@Aaron Hunt

Hi, Aaron. I am pleased to be able to offer you a real estate investment education program that will maximize your real estate knowledge and teach you how to make very high-level investments. My program has been proven through years of producing high-level results. I can take you to the next level. If you want to go high, call me and I'll do it at the Diamonds-and-Platinum-and-Shiny-Stuff level for the low, low price of only $50,000. If course, it might not be for you. High-level real estate investing isn't for everyone. You can stay low-level if that's what you want, or you can reach for a higher level. High-level is the way to be. Have I repeated the trigger phrase "high-level" enough to convince you yet?

So hand over your money and I'll teach you how to buy the White House, the Brooklyn Bridge, and the Hollywood Bowl.

I'll show you how to crush and crush and crush the mystical "it" and distill the best moonshine out of "it" you ever imagined.

Only $50,000 stands between you and your best life. Are you man enough to live your best life? Will you soar with the eagles or lurk with the turkeys? This is your moment to choose. A man only gets a limited number of high-level opportunities in his life.

(Insert picture of a silhouetted man, fists raised in triumph, standing on top of a sharp crest at sunset.)