If you could turn back time, what would you do?

[Jeffery R.]

Good afternoon all!

I've often heard, "if I could go back" or "if I could go back to one moment and change X" everything would be different. I feel like I'm at that point right now.

Currently, I'm 28, I have a great job making decent money with the ability to save more about 50% of my income after taxes/expenses, I've saved more than $90,000 thus far. $70,000 of it is liquid with $20,000 tied up in peer-2-peer loans. I've been pre-qualified for an FHA loan up to $450,000 with 3.5% down and 3.25-3.375% interest.

I'm wanting to hear the BP's advice in my current situation.

Thanks,
Jeff

[Linda Weygant]

I spend a fair amount of time thinking about the mistakes I made in my past and where I'd be now if I'd made different decisions then.

First and foremost, I never would have married my first husband.  He put us in so much credit card debt that it took me years to unbury from it after the divorce.  There are many, many reasons why I shouldn't have married him and many red flags that should have served as warning.  Note to the 22 year old Linda ----  RUN!!!!!

Lesson learned:  Credit Card debt is bad.  Don't do it.  Toxic people are also bad.  Stay away from them.

Second, I would have tried harder to convince my second husband to invest in real estate in 07-10.  I could see what was happening around us and knew there was opportunity there.  I was unable to be articulate enough with him to convince him that not only were we in good financial shape to be able to do so, but that it was also a good time to do so.  We fought about this almost as much as we fought about whose turn it was to make dinner.  

Lesson learned:  When your spouse is resistant to change and risk, learn how to communicate effectively to mitigate the fears and resistance.  Communication is key to the relationship.  Learn how to do it effectively.

Third, post divorce and ready to invest.  Don't be so afraid of everything.  Don't get into analysis paralysis.  I missed many good deals because I was afraid of mold, afraid of a little water damage and afraid of making mistakes.  

Lesson learned:  It'll be ok.  Quit stressing about every little detail, learn to relax and move forward.  When you run into obstacles, just work the problem instead of freaking out.

Fourth - the condo I recently purchased.  Note to Linda in January 2017....  You really sure you want this place?

Lesson learned:  Push harder on the seller when you discover major defects.  Don't take on somebody else's problems without just compensation.  Run the numbers again.  No deal is better than a bad deal.

I think the major theme for me is that I would have taken 21 year old Linda aside and tried to teach her to quit relying on emotions so much.  Life is not a romance novel and while many people really are good people, there are an awful lot of ***holes in the world trying to take advantage of you.  Learn how to tell the difference much sooner and you'll be happier a lot more frequently.