How do I get my wife on board!!

[Jeffrey Evans]

My wife is super pessimistic with things and worst case is the first thing to her mind about most things. I wan't to do a BRRRR but she has a hard time wrapping her head around the idea. Not sure how to get her on board and support it. When new at it, this stuff is stressful enough, I want her to be positive and supportive. Is that asking to much ?

[Joe Splitrock]

Originally posted by @Jeffrey Evans:

My wife is super pessimistic with things and worst case is the first thing to her mind about most things. I wan't to do a BRRRR but she has a hard time wrapping her head around the idea. Not sure how to get her on board and support it. When new at it, this stuff is stressful enough, I want her to be positive and supportive. Is that asking to much ?

 Your wife would probably tell us that she is cautious, conservative with money and responsible. She would tell us you are a dreamer who is overly optimistic. Try to understand her perspective. You think you have it all figured out, but you have not convinced her. She believes she has good reasons to doubt your strategy and she may be right!  

My advice is do the following:

1. Show her the reason you want to do this. You are trying to setup your families financial future, so this is for the families long term benefit. Maybe the goal is early retirement or extra money so one of you can stay home with the kids. Whatever the reason, bring her into your shared vision.

2. Ask her to read a book on real estate investing. She may not be interested, so offer to read a book of her choice in exchange. In order to better understand each other, you both need to work at it. You can read or listen to a book together as a way to bond.

3. Talk to her about a short term reward of her choice after the successful investment. It could be a vacation, shopping trip, day at the spa, etc. Basically tell her if she comes along for the ride, each deal we get a reward. This is different than item 1, because it is a a short term benefit. Some people don't like investing, but maybe that reward can fund her passion, whatever that is.

4. Acknowledge all her concerns. Don't tell her she is wrong. Agree with everything she says and offer a plan to overcome her concerns. "Yes I am concerned we could be over budget, which is why I am putting 25% extra for miscellaneous in the budget." Appreciate her contribution. My wife balances me out, she doesn't hold me back. Get your mindset right around why she has concerns. 

5. Have a backup plan. If she sees too much risk with BRRRR, then maybe turn key buy and hold is a better choice in the short term. My wife doesn't like major rehab projects, so I work within her comfort level. It may take baby steps. Start with a small project and prove you can do it. Her trust will grow as you prove success.